Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Millions of viewers followed the weekly antics of the castaways on Gilligan's Island. But not much is known of their lives following their inevitable rescue.

The Howells, of course, returned to their opulent lives. But never one to pass up a prime business opportunity, Thurston discovered the lush tropical island had no owner and he secured it for himself. Soon he built a fabulous resort there. Jonas Grumby wrote a best-selling book about their adventures and opened a bar at the Howell's resort where his gregariousness and interesting stories made it a success. Roy Hinkley wanted to return to teaching but the Howells bankrolled some of his invention ideas which were remarkable successes for both of them. 

Ginger Grant returned to Hollywood but her absence from the spotlight for so long doomed her to starring in sleazy exploitative B movies. Mary Ann Summers was the surprise, as she agreed to pose nude as a Playboy magazine centerfold. Her life-sized poster, wearing nothing but a bit of her famous coconut cream pie in strategic places, adorned the wall of nearly every teenage boy in America.

The final castaway, Gilligan, reenlisted in the Navy to try and model himself on his friend and mentor the Skipper. Unfortunately his careless nature and lack of common sense led to his being the recipient of frequent additional duties, some designed to teach him better naval skills. One night, to teach him more meticulousness in his duties, he was tasked to count the links in an anchor chain and note whether he had to clean the dried seaweed and any barnacles from each using the provided broom. He listed each one on a sheet and as he started to brush the first one a seahawk landed on it and proceeded to defecate on it. That annoyed him, so he swung the broom at the bird to shoo it away. The bird fluttered for a moment and landed on the chain again, squawking annoyingly at him. He swung at it again, missing, and the bird landed again on the chain. This went on for some time, making Gilligan more and more perturbed at the persistent avian as time went on.

Just as the sun peeked over the horizon the executive officer, who had assigned him the task, came by to check on his progress. Seeing the sad state of the anchor chain he called Gilligan to attention and insisted that he give an accounting for why he had not completed the job.

"I'm sorry sir," Gilligan apologized sheepishly. "I tossed a tern all night and couldn't sweep a link!"

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