A dung beetle walks into the bar. "Is this stool taken?" #lamejoke

Joey bought his kids a bunch of Sharpies to play with, and his wife is angry at him. It is weird though. She wakes up every day with a huge smile on her face. #lamejoke

Okay, maybe I shouldn't have referred to my dentist appointment as a cavity search. #lamejoke

The boss said that he's going to fire everyone with bad posture. I have a hunch it might be me. #lamejoke

My wife thought I was cheating on her after she found all the letters I was hiding. She got so mad and said she's never playing Scrabble with me again. #lamejoke

Lost my billfold while fishing. Last I saw of it, a band of rough fish were tossing it back and forth...a clear-cut case of carp-to-carp walleting. #lamejoke

Joey identifies as a crescent moon. His wife is worried, but I told her that he's just going through a phase. #lamejoke

I believe a lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided completely if cowboy architects had just made their towns big enough for everyone. #lamejoke

Drink essay tea to stay awake during college entrance exams. #lamejoke

Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be justwater. #lamejoke

We put in a bid on a house because my wife fell in love with the lengthy corridor and we won't take 'no' for an answer. Obviously, we're in it for the long hall. #lamejoke

If you're looking for Spiderman, you can find him on the web. #lamejoke

I tried cleaning my glasses with ketchup today. In Heinz-sight, it was probably a bad idea. #lamejoke

I was offered a free trip to Egypt if I get five people under me to also sign up. Sounds like pyramid scheme to me. #lamejoke

My wife told me I was being immature, so I told her to get out of my fort. #lamejoke

Bicycle jokes won't impress you, but a unicycle one wheel. #lamejoke

Invest in cod liver processing technology! Don't miss out on the art-of-fish-oil intelligence boom. #lamejoke

A cat can't land upright if you drop it from 24 inches. It needs four feet. #lamejoke

A lumberjack went in to a magic forest to cut a tree. Upon arrival, he started to swing at the tree, when it shouted, “Wait! I’m a talking tree!" The lumberjack grinned, “And you will dialogue!" #lamejoke

This semicolon committed a crime. He was given two consecutive sentences. #lamejoke

One of the TV networks is planning an old-fashioned sitcom about Abraham Lincoln. It will be shot before a live audience. #lamejoke

I saw a banana car today. It peeled out right in front of me. #lamejoke

Insulating a house is hard.So just try asbestos you can. #lamejoke

If, at the end of a Scrabble game, you are stuck with the letters D and O, you'll just have to make do. #lamejoke

Can plain bagels fly? #lamejoke

My wife bought a bunch of herbs and spices for a potpourri. Costly, but worth every scent. #lamejoke

This attorney was offered a chance to play the role of William Shakespeare in a movie, but had to respectfully decline. He figured that if he did, he'd be dis bard. #lamejoke

I thought my days of misquoting popular idioms were over. But I’m like a phoenix, rising from molasses. #lamejoke

My instructor doesn’t think I’m cut out to be a mime. It must have been something I said. #lamejoke

The chemist was arrested for throwing sodium chloride at his wife. That's a salt. #lamejoke