My toy drone just got stuck in a tree. It's not the least favorite thing that happened to me today, but it is definitely up there. #lamejoke

Bought a new muzzle for my pet duck the other day. Nothing fancy, but it fits the bill. #lamejoke

Joey doesn't think "modern art" should really be classified as art. He says that a line needs to be drawn somewhere. #lamejoke

Gum makes me sneeze. A chew. #lamejoke

I have a fear of two letter words. Get scared just thinking about it. #lamejoke

Joey tried to go on a diet, but stopped after seven days. I guess it was a weak effort. #lamejoke

When I think of backwards desserts, I get stressed. #lamejoke

An ancient Greek playwright was suffering writer’s block. He kept scribbling down lines and then tearing up the pages. Picking up the torn pages, his friend asked, “Why, Euripides?” #lamejoke

Do not accept a friend request from Lizzie Borden. You will get hacked. #lamejoke

Medieval trebuchets were capable of launching at ’em bombs. #lamejoke

Sisyphus was the first musical genius. He was a master of rock and roll. #lamejoke

Anyone can learn how to dance on the ceiling if they just stick to it. #lamejoke

I have a good joke about time travel, but you didn't like it. #lamejoke

A slumlord prohibits his tenants from painting the doors of their apartments any color other than slate. He believes there’s nothing like the greyed out doors. #lamejoke

You like money, and I like money. So we are a greed. #lamejoke

At least the shaking father didn't have to place his car in the garage on his own - he had parking sons. #lamejoke

I mixed an orange flavored soda and a twig. It was fantastic! #lamejoke

My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas. #lamejoke

Can you imagine the alphabet without the letter B? It's easy if you make B leave. #lamejoke

I want to be a pastry chef, because I feel that tart imitates life. #lamejoke

Becoming a lumberjack is a question of wood, not could. #lamejoke

In my dreams, nobody shaves. I have a lot of imagine hairy friends. #lamejoke

Make a pun about the number 1? Ok, fine, but only if we half two. #lamejoke