Friday, September 30, 2016

Thursday, September 29, 2016

How would one describe Chinese food that isn't great?

Tso, tso.

Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Sunday, September 25, 2016

Saturday, September 24, 2016

What do you call an empty container of cheese wiz?

Cheese was.

Friday, September 23, 2016

What does the Lone Ranger say when he takes a load of trash to the landfill?

"To-the-dump, to-the-dump, to-the-dump-dump-dump..."

Thursday, September 22, 2016

Joey's aunt’s Zodiac star sign was Cancer, so it’s pretty ironic how she died.…

She was eaten by a giant crab.

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Did you know that if you drink the fluid from a Magic 8 Ball you can see the future?

It’s true. Joey's friend, Steve, did it, and said he was going to die, and then he did.

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

What did the duck say when it found an avocado?

"Guac, guac."

Monday, September 19, 2016

I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve been to Chernobyl.

It’s seven.

Sunday, September 18, 2016

What did the green grape say to the purple grape?

Breathe, dammit, breathe!

Saturday, September 17, 2016

After God had created 24 hours of alternating light and darkness, one of his angels asked him what he was going to do next.

He said, “I think I’m going to call it a day.”