My wife and I were watching silent tennis yesterday. It's the same as regular tennis, but without the racket. #lamejoke

Joey's wife tried to beat him at Scrabble, but he wooden letter. #lamejoke

Don't eat animal crackers if the seal is broken. #lamejoke

In case you’re thinking about getting married, consider this carefully. On the one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring. On the other hand, you don't. #lamejoke

I just did a magic trick where I made a stick of margarine disappear. It wasn’t very good, but, it was butter then nothing. #lamejoke

They open cans of tuna in New Mexico with an albacore key. #lamejoke

I was in a good mood until I started petting a duckling at a park. Then I started feeling a little down. #lamejoke

Entomologists love tornadoes. It’s a perfect occasion to see a house fly. #lamejoke

I asked the librarian if she knew of any authors that wrote novels about dinosaurs. She said to try Sarah Topps. #lamejoke

Joey's grandma has this crazy idea about an apple that’s sour and way better than any other apple. But Joey just calls that Granny’s myth. #lamejoke

I'm training mice to perform classical music. You may call me Maestro. #lamejoke

I used to run a dating agency for chickens. But I struggled to make hens meet. #lamejoke

Dark is spelled with a K rather than a C because you don't see in the dark. #lamejoke

Because of a clerical error at the hospital we named both of our twin boys William. They billed us twice. #lamejoke

Seems that Saint Patrick's Day keeps getting bigger every year. Must be Dublin…. #lamejoke

The cookie went to the doctor because he was feeling crummy. #lamejoke

Joey's dad passed away last year because they didn't know his dad's blood type in time for the doctors to do a transfusion. As he was dying, his dad kept saying, "Be positive", but Joey said that it's hard without him. #lamejoke

Most puns make me numb, but math puns make me number. #lamejoke

My great-uncle Albert wasn’t feeling well so he went to his homeopathic doctor. They completely covered his back with lard and, after that, he went downhill pretty fast. #lamejoke

The second floor bathroom was closed for service today. Now the ground floor bathroom has double doody. #lamejoke

The cops can't find the thief who has been stealing futons from different stores. (I think he's lying low.) #lamejoke

Joey always wanted to be a Gregorian monk, but he never got the chants. #lamejoke

The sick juggler just could't stop throwing up. #lamejoke

I try to tell everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes. It’s all about raisin awareness. #lamejoke

Cupid is always seen using a bow. Because in Greek, the goddess of love had Eros. #lamejoke

Joey just got fired from his job as a pallbearer. He couldn't stop coffin. #lamejoke

Santa's reindeer don't roast each other, they have rude-offs. (If you don't get it, sleigh it out loud.) #lamejoke

Ornithologists have recently been studying if cannabis has any effect on seabirds. They’ve left no tern un-stoned. #lamejoke

Joey's next-door neighbors are always lighting up fragrant sticks, even after he complained. They are so incensitive! #lamejoke