Thursday, March 28, 2024

Vegetable

And you thought nobody was gonna arrive to tell root vegetable jokes here, and then I turnip. #lamejoke

Wednesday, March 27, 2024

Monday, March 25, 2024

Pirates

Pirates usually pay a buck an ear to get their ears pierced. #lamejoke

Sunday, March 24, 2024

Bamboo

Where sarcastic people keep their bamboo? In a pan. Duh. #lamejoke

Saturday, March 23, 2024

Eating

If a clown comes to your house and starts eating everything in your fridge, don't get angry. It's all ingest. #lamejoke

Friday, March 22, 2024

Boulder

I discovered a really long boulder while hiking in the desert recently. It was about 1760 yards long. Must be some kind of milestone. #lamejoke 

Thursday, March 21, 2024

Contest

The winner of the neck decoration contest? It was a tie. #lamejoke

Wednesday, March 20, 2024

Records

I'm going to start collecting records. That’s my decision, and it’s vinyl. #lamejoke

Tuesday, March 19, 2024

Vehicle

The kind of noise a witch’s vehicle makes? Brrrroooom, brrroooom. #lamejoke

Monday, March 18, 2024

Sunday, March 17, 2024

Insects

I’m currently reading a book about a couple of insects who fall in love in an Italian city. It’s a Rome ants novel. #lamejoke

Saturday, March 16, 2024

Guillotine

Joey got hired at the guillotine factory. Be heading there tomorrow. #lamejoke 

Friday, March 15, 2024

Pizza

The proper title for a person who makes pizza in a pizzeria? His name is Pete. Pete’s a baker. #lamejoke

Thursday, March 14, 2024

Police

Police stopped me and said, “Papers!” So I said, “ Scissors, I WIN!” and drove off. I think he wants a rematch because he’s been chasing me for 20 minutes. #lamejoke

Wednesday, March 13, 2024

Bees

I asked for twelve bees. The beekeeper gave me thirteen. When I asked him why, he said it was a freebie. #lamejoke