Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Saturday, September 16, 2017

So, this snake walks into a bar.

The bartender says, "How'd you do that?"

Friday, September 1, 2017

So, a miner and a chemist walk into a geology convention. They approach a table displaying a wide assortment of rocks. 

The chemist points in the booth's direction and asks the miner, "Which is your favorite? Cinnabar or cassiterite?" 

The miner thought for a moment and replied, "Either ore."

Thursday, August 31, 2017

What do you call a factory that sells passable products? 

A satisfactory.

Tuesday, August 29, 2017

Monday, August 28, 2017

What's the resemblance between a green apple and a red apple? 

They’re both red except for the green one.

Sunday, August 27, 2017

A friend called me last night, quite confused, to say a couple of sausages hit him on the head on the way home from the pub. 

"That's nothing!" I replied. "I got hit by four steaks, two pork chops and a leg of lamb."

"What could it be?" he asked.

"I'm not sure, but mine was definitely a meatier shower!"

Friday, August 25, 2017

What do you call a doctor who takes care of whales teeth? 

An orcadontist.

Thursday, August 24, 2017

Wednesday, August 23, 2017

Tuesday, August 22, 2017

What happened when the escalator broke down? 

Everyone stopped and staired.

Monday, August 21, 2017

What do you call sandwich meat if you put it on your lower leg? 

Below knee.

Sunday, August 20, 2017

Saturday, August 19, 2017

What's the best way to install a toilet relative to the wall? 

Flush.

Friday, August 18, 2017

"Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a pair of curtains." 

"Pull yourself together, man."