Vikings

The Vikings had this initiation tradition in which a boy had to participate in a raid to be considered a man. As they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child. #lamejoke

Forest

There was an old man who lived by a forest. As he grew older and older, he started losing his hair, until one day, on his deathbed, he was completely bald. That day, he called his children to a meeting...

He said, "Look at my hair. It used to be so magnificent, but it's completely gone now. My hair can't be saved. But look outside at the forest. It's such a lovely forest with so many trees, but sooner or later they'll all be cut down and this forest will look as bald as my hair."

"What I want you to do..." the man continued. "Is, every time a tree is cut down or dies, plant a new one in my memory. Tell your descendants to do the same. It shall be our family's duty to keep this forest strong."

So they did.

Each time the forest lost a tree, the children replanted one, and so did their children, and their children after them.

And for centuries, the forest remained as lush and pretty as it once was, all because of one man and his re-seeding heirline...

Seafood

I knew I shouldn't have had the seafood. I'm feeling eel. #lamejoke

Eye

I met a man with a glass eye this morning...He didn’t tell me, it just came out in the conversation. #lamejoke

Squid

I met an annoying squid who wanted to become a comedian. He wouldn’t stop kraken jokes. #lamejoke

Dentist

I was the only appointment my dentist had today. But, I had to cancel. Now, it seems, I’m a disappointment. #lamejoke

Marshmallow

My wife was upset that I'd only given her a single marshmallow. I think she wanted s'more. #lamejoke

Tire

Joey was changing a tire when the car dropped on his foot. Now he needs a tow. #lamejoke

Pastimes

With everyone in the family tired of the usual pastimes, we're playing bored games. #lamejoke