Thursday, April 30, 2015

Larry was one of those guys who was in love with being in love. He had been infatuated with one girl after another ever since he could remember. Some reciprocated but others didn't, but that didn't ever stop Larry from moving on to the next conquest.

The trouble was he wasn't very good with relationships. He'd woo and court a girl and she'd fall for him and they would start seeing each other exclusively. But then Larry would start getting an almost itchy feeling, and he'd see some other pretty girl and his current lover would lose her luster almost overnight. He'd be off, making another conquest while leaving another girl with a broken heart.

That was until he met Katherine. She was the one, he knew it. She was tall and blonde and looked like a Hollywood movie star. Of course, Katherine wasn't so sure about Larry. She'd heard about him and his lack of commitment. She was going to make sure he stayed true to her, so she laid down the law. If he loved her and wanted access to her considerable charms he was going to marry her and that was that. Larry, in the throes of his infatuation, agreed and he and Katherine were married.

And he tried, he really did, but a leopard can't change his spots. Larry started a new job where he spent half the week home and half the week at an office in a city a few hours away. The secretary, Edith, caught his eye immediately. She was cute and funny and smart and she drove him crazy with her dimples. Larry slipped his wedding ring off and started chatting her up. Pretty soon he had a date and they started going out on the evenings he was in town. Katherine was none the wiser since he doted on her when he came home.

It was working pretty well for Larry, having two girls on the line, until Edith gave him an ultimatum: she was ready to have kids and if he wanted to continue with her he would have to marry her. Larry, in a panic, agreed and she dragged him down to city hall and they got hitched by the justice of the peace. He thought he had it made, with a loving wife in one town and one in the other.

That is, until his boss dropped by the office where Edith worked. She showed him her wedding ring and when he asked who she had married she pointed to Larry. The jig was up and Larry was caught, since the boss knew he was already married to another woman. He fired him on the spot and called the police who arrested him for bigamy. Both women divorced him and Larry was thrown in jail, a broken man. For he learned the hard way, you can't have your Kate and Edith, too.

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