"What's this daily charge for 'fruit'?" the hotel guest asked the manager. "We didn't eat any."

"But the fruit was in your room every day. It isn't our fault you didn't take advantage of it."

"I see," said the man as he subtracted $150.00 from the bill.

"What are you doing?" sputtered the manager.

"I'm subtracting 50 dollars a day for your kissing my wife."

"What? I didn't kiss your wife."

"Ah," replied the man, "but she was there."