Washing

“I love washing clothes when the crowd stands,” Tim cheered from the bleachers. #lamejoke 

Urinals

Do computer-controlled urinals have their own I pee addresses? #lamejoke

Hunting

I've been hunting for Bigfoot, yeti seems elusive. #lamejoke 

Mythical

Someone asked me if I wanted any more tiny mythical men rowing boats past my house. I said, “Gnome oar.” #lamejoke 

Strange

 Numbers are strange. Odd, even. #lamejoke

Envy

There's this thing called ocean envy. It's jealous sea. #lamejoke 

Hip-hop

You’ve heard about the onion that sings hip-hop? He's a rap scallion. #lamejoke 

Competition

I was very close to winning the World's Most Congested Nose competition but then, at the last minute, I blew it. #lamejoke 

Tennis

My wife said that I’m too old for tennis puns. I said, ”I’m only 30, love.” #lamejoke 

Habits

My wife told me I have two bad habits. I don’t listen and something else. #lamejoke 

Pirate

How you can tell if a treasure map was written by a pirate chicken? Eggs mark the spot. #lamejoke

Books

What color are books? Most books are read. #lamejoke 

Politician

Joey just got arrested for impersonating a politician. Don’t know why. He was just sitting there doing nothing. #lamejoke

Clothes

I always keep an extra set of clothes in my car. It’s useful in case I need to change attire. #lamejoke

Dog

How your dog shows that she likes classical music? By Wagner tail. #lamejoke 

Leg

Honestly, I don't mind leg day at the gym. It's just the two days after that I can't stand. #lamejoke

Pick

What you get when you pick a pig’s nose? Hamboogers. #lamejoke 

Dinosaurs

Why dinosaurs were so big? Jurassic times called for Jurassic measures. Could that joke get any worse? You bet Jurassic can. #lamejoke

Waltz

I broke out in a waltz today. It was just once of those happens dance things. #lamejoke 

Refrigerators

I like refrigerators. They’re cool. #lamejoke 

Calculator

Police are investigating a death involving a broken calculator. Currently there are no signs of foul play, but something’s just not adding up. #lamejoke 

Spoon

Woke up holding a wooden spoon and mixing bowl. My wife said, “Rough night?” I’m like, “Yeah..how’d you know?” “You were stirring in your sleep.” #lamejoke 

Handstand

Joey bet me he could pee into the toilet while doing a handstand. I’m like, “Buddy…urine over your head.” #lamejoke