Why the headless chicken crossed the road? He was supposed to be headed to the other side. #lamejoke
Friday, January 31, 2025
Thursday, January 30, 2025
Fight
The sheep and the cow had a big fight. For the rest of the day, they were in a baaaad moooood. #lamejoke
Wednesday, January 29, 2025
Tuesday, January 28, 2025
Thinner
Betsy sent me to the paint store to get thinner. She should have sent me to the gym. #lamejoke
Monday, January 27, 2025
Coffee
A factory worker died after falling into a vat of coffee. Paramedics said he didn’t suffer - it was instant. #lamejoke
Sunday, January 26, 2025
Escape
Say you're locked in a room with nothing but 88 keys, none of which unlock the door. How do you escape? A piano has 88 keys. All you need to do is play a scale on the piano, then step on the scale, and get a weigh. #lamejoke
Saturday, January 25, 2025
Farts
Although nobody was around to hear it, I just let out one of the top farts of my entire life. If it wasn't number one, it may have been number two. #lamejoke
Friday, January 24, 2025
Thursday, January 23, 2025
Wednesday, January 22, 2025
Engraving
I’ve started taking engraving lessons. There’s still so much to learn. We’ve only just scratched the surface. #lamejoke
Monday, January 20, 2025
Sunday, January 19, 2025
Sugar
Sugar is the only word where ‘su’ makes a ‘sh’ sound. I’m pretty sure that’s correct. #lamejoke
Saturday, January 18, 2025
Fingers
Joey accidentally cut two fingers off his hand. When he asked the doctor if he would still be able to write with it, the doctor said, “Maybe, but don’t count on it.” #lamejoke
Friday, January 17, 2025
Thursday, January 16, 2025
Wednesday, January 15, 2025
Safety
When you’re doing dangerous work it’s a good idea to do the Safety Twerk. Show a bun dance of caution. #lamejoke
Tuesday, January 14, 2025
Police
Police are looking for a suspect who put wings on his two door two passenger car. Turns out he flew the coupe. #lamejoke
Monday, January 13, 2025
Thought
I remember when I read Peter Pan to my kids and they asked if I wished I never grew up. I thought about it for a moment, then asked them to pull my finger. #lamejoke
Sunday, January 12, 2025
Paint
You want to paint spades, diamonds, clubs, and hearts all over your chest? It's a strange choice, but suit yourself. #lamejoke
Friday, January 10, 2025
Thursday, January 9, 2025
Wednesday, January 8, 2025
Balloons
A man was arrested for stealing helium balloons. The police held him for a while, then let him go. #lamejoke
Tuesday, January 7, 2025
Monday, January 6, 2025
Sleeping
Rescue crews were shocked to discover a man sleeping on Mount Everest. They found Himalayan there. #lamejoke
Sunday, January 5, 2025
Fingers
I woke up, and noticed that all the fingers on my left hand had been replaced with toes. The doctor took one look, and said, "Hmm, something’s afoot here." #lamejoke
Saturday, January 4, 2025
Garden
Why garden people are so likeable? Because they're really nice once you get to gnome. #lamejoke
Friday, January 3, 2025
Thursday, January 2, 2025
Ballet
The inventor of the ballet skirt was stumped for a name until he put tu and tu together. #lamejoke
Wednesday, January 1, 2025
Seaweed
I ordered a seaweed salad for lunch, but they wouldn’t let me have a second kelping. #lamejoke