Bats

Why bats are the only animal whose poop has a special name? I really don’t guano know. #lamejoke 

Snack

A cannibal’s favorite snack? Gram crackers. #lamejoke

Chbickens

Chickens are so greedy. They’re just out to make a bawk. #lamejoke 

Bankruptcies

I'm reading a book about bankruptcies. Currently on chapter 11. #lamejoke

Decorator

Joey got fired from his job as a set decorator. He left without making a scene. #lamejoke

Ring

Bought my wife a mood ring. When she is in a good mood, it turns green. When she is in a bad mood, it leaves a red mark on my forehead. #lamejoke 

Laughter

With laughter, the L comes first and the rest comes aughter. #lamejoke

Hotel

Look, I don't want to sound conceited, but, when I left the hotel, I'm pretty sure that the receptionist was checking me out. #lamejoke

Scarecrow

Why am I so good at being a scarecrow? Hay, it’s in my jeans. #lamejoke 

Chapel

I hear the Sistine Chapel has a lot of ceiling fans. #lamejoke

Olympics

I really enjoyed hearing all of the national anthems played at the Olympics. I love country music. #lamejoke 

Soldiers

Where baby soldiers come from? The infant tree. #lamejoke

Custodians

Why most custodians are car guys? They like things that go broom, broom. #lamejoke 

Defibrillator

It’s very rare that a defibrillator fails, but when it does, nobody is shocked. #lamejoke 

Castle

When a castle performs poorly at work, it gets demoted. #lamejoke

Oil

Where Oil of Olay comes from? Old bullfighters maybe? #lamejoke

Balloon

A balloon's least favorite kind of music? Pop. #lamejoke 

Origami

I passed my origami test yesterday when I turned my paper into the teacher. #lamejoke

Diet

I’ve lost a lot of weight by wearing bread on my head. It’s a new loaf hat diet I’m trying #lamejoke

Martini

 The Charles Dickens martini. Olive or twist? #lamejoke