Meat

I know a place where you can buy dog meat cheap! It’s sold by the pound. #lamejoke

Soup

When I eat alphabet soup, I only eat the vowels. Why? Sometimes. #lamejoke

Confusing

The United States can be confusing. It just doesn’t make cents anymore. #lamejoke

King

Why Istanbul doesn’t have a king? Because they can’t stand a noble. #lamejoke

Pigs

So, this teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. When she came to the part of the story where first pig was trying to gather the building materials for his home, she read, "And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said, 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?'"The teacher paused, then asked the class: "And what do you think the man said?" One little boy raised his hand and said very matter of factly, "I think the man would have said, ‘Well, dang, a talking pig!’” #lamejoke

Bullets

Then there was the one about the girl who ate bullets. Her hair grew out in bangs. #lamejoke

Dent

Joey hit a bird with his car. It left a small dent. Looks like mynah damage to me. #lamejoke

Chess

I lost one of my chess pieces, so I went to the pawnshop to buy another. #lamejoke

Corn

What happens if you don't chew your corn while eating? You get poopcorn. #lamejoke

Salmon

Can a salmon box? No, but a tuna can. #lamejoke

Crow

Don't panic if your pet crow doesn't wake you up in the morning. There’s no caws for alarm. #lamejoke

Lakes

No one ever steals lakes in Scotland. They’re kept under loch and quay. #lamejoke

Painters

Did you know that when painters get cold, they put on an extra coat? #lamejoke

Jokes

Telling dad jokes isn’t my main job. It’s a sigh gig. #lamejoke

Hair

Joey spent over $5000 on a hair system which is a lot toupee. #lamejoke