The Amazingly Lame Joke of the Day

Never run with bagpipes. You could get kilt. #lamejoke

My kids want a cat for Christmas. Normally we do a turkey or a ham, but if this makes them happy…. #lamejoke

What do you call it when all the elves clap for their boss? Santapplause. #lamejoke 

"When I eat alphabet soup, I only eat the vowels." "Why?" "Sometimes." #lamejoke

Where pirates get their hooks? Second hand stores. #lamejoke

Why was the letter E the only letter to get a present from Santa? Because all the other letters were not E. #lamejoke

The most important rule of hatchet throwing? Don’t ax me. #lamejoke

Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Sorry. That was my weak attempt at humor. #lamejoke 

I got lost while hiking once. After several nervous hours trying to retrace my steps and establish where I was, eventually a park ranger fou...

A woman who won't stop singing Christmas songs? Carolyn. #lamejoke 

Two ants tried to make a seesaw using a toothpick and half a crumb, but it didn't work. They needed a full crumb. #lamejoke 

Checking the menu, a restaurant customer ordered a bowl of vegetable soup. After a couple of spoonfuls, he saw a circle of wetness right und...

Bob Hill and his new wife Betty were vacationing in Europe, as it happens, near Transylvania. They were driving in a rental car along a rath...

Given their anatomy, some people wonder how mermaids can give birth. They usually have a sea section. #lamejoke 

A computer programmer, bored with his job, decided to start his own business. Wanting to do something totally different from his current occ...