There's a wash basin with a faucet on your front porch knocking on the door. Let that sink in. #lamejoke

Spell check is my new worst enema. #lamejoke

Sauron is a great name. It has a nice ring to it. #lamejoke

All clocks only have two hands. You may think they have a third hand, but it’s really just a second hand. #lamejoke

You know the fleeting second of shock you get when you stumble over an extension cord? It's a real power trip. #lamejoke

The zookeeper was struggling to explain why two tropical birds were stuck together. It was toucan fusing. #lamejoke

Joey's two year old tried tying his shoes today. He could knot. #lamejoke

The 70 year old fungus said, "I mold." #lamejoke

I’m convinced that highlighters are the pens of the future. Mark my words. #lamejoke

Yesterday my car was keyed. The good news is the damage seems to b minor. #lamejoke

And then there was the one about the burglar stole a kilt and then, in court, he plaid guilty. #lamejoke

How did San Diego get it’s name? A guy was walking down the beach, eating a frozen waffle, and he dropped it. #lamejoke

Joey's having his face molded into clay. I think he's getting ahead of himself. #lamejoke

Alcohol doesn't make you fat, it makes you lean.... against tables, chairs, floors, walls, etc. #lamejoke

What do I think of frozen sculptures? They're okay icy pose. #lamejoke

A man and his wife went mattress shopping. He wanted a soft mattress, but she didn't. No matter what he said, she was going to stand firm. #lamejoke

It upsets me when the refrigerator breaks. It's just not cool. #lamejoke

When lawyers die, do they lie still? #lamejoke

Joey went shopping and saw an attractive woman dressed as Snow White working at one of the stores. She was the fairest of the mall. #lamejoke

If you suck at playing the trumpet, that's probably why. #lamejoke

Hopefully, this season, the NFL can tackle concussions head-on. #lamejoke #nojoke

Moliere's influence on modern comedy just shows that he was very farce-sighted. #lamejoke

It's okay to borrow a book from the public library once in a while, but try not to overdue it. #lamejoke

The vending machine went to the hospital to have a tumor looked at. The doctor said that it was B9. #lamejoke

My wife accused me of liking Dracula, Chocula, and Monte Cristo. She was right on all counts. #lamejoke

My mailman buddy tells a lot of jokes about undelivered letters, but nobody gets them. #lamejoke

My friend said he doesn't understand cloning. That makes two of us. #lamejoke

Never take a nail to a bar. They tend to get hammered. #lamejoke

I contacted someone to replace the old wood on my floor. I’m still waiting for a re ply. #lamejoke