Mayo

Someone just threw some mayo at me. What the Hellman!?! #lamejoke

Factory

My wife works in a factory that makes action figures of The Nanny. She got the job to make new Frans. #lamejoke

Wimbledon

Wimbledon will now offer “quiet” tennis for those with noise sensitivity. Same game but without the racket. #lamejoke

Physics

I'd like to make some jokes about physics, but I’m not particularly good atom. #lamejoke

Hippo

A hippo with one leg? A hoppo. #lamejoke

Crowbars

Did you know that before crowbars were invented, crows just had to stay at home to drink? #lamejoke

Leather

 

Leather is rated based upon its texture. Cows with abundant water sources typically have softer hides rated "A". But hides from cows living in hot, dry climates are typically "D" Hide rated. #lamejoke

Icy

They say 'icy' is the easiest word to spell. I see why. #lamejoke 

Cowboy

Died and came back as a cowboy. I call that reintarnation. #lamejoke

Puppets

Got a couple of sock puppets for sale. Anyone interested in taking them off my hands? #lamejoke 

Daughter

Joey’s daughter had a baby boy and named him Griffin. I suggested that she put a sign up on the entrance to his room. Griffin Door. She huffled and puffed. #lamejoke

Greeter

Joey was just hired as a Walmart people greeter. He’s on Howdy duty. #lamejoke

Bees

I asked for 12 bees. The beekeeper gave me 13. When I asked him why, he said it was a freebie. #lamejoke

Salads

My wife says the salads I make tend to be a bit on the "dry" side. It's definitely something that needs addressing. #lamejoke 

Guitar

Later today I will be giving you one of the important lessons in learning how to play guitar. Stay tuned…. #lamejoke