Bouncer

A bouncer is working on a Saturday night at a popular nightclub for household utensils...

One of the regulars, a mirror, comes outside for a smoke and greets him.

As they make small talk, a toilet approaches flaunting a pristine gold plated lid. The bouncer immediately lets him in.

The mirror rolls his eyes as the toilet pushes through.

Next, a limo pulls up and a washing machine steps out adorned in shining jewelry.

She heads towards the door and the bouncer lets her in without question.

The mirror scoffs and stares in utter contempt as the washing machine enters.

A short time later, a dingy looking sink trudges towards the door. He looked worn out and had a large crack down the front of his bowl.

The bouncer stops him and says, 'Not tonight buddy'.

The sink pleads to be let in but the bouncer scolds him for not even attempting to follow the dress code and again refuses entry.

Dejected, the sink steps away unsure of what to do with his night now.

The mirror takes a pull on his cigarette, turns to the bouncer and says 'You need to take a long, hard look at yourself'.

'What do you mean?' replies the bouncer, taken aback.

'That toilet you let in? He's a big shot lawyer at a multinational corporation. Made his fortune shitting all over the little guy and only looking out for #1.'

The mirror continued;

'The washing machine? She launders money for the cartel!'

The bouncer shuffles uncomfortably.

The mirror takes another drag of his cigarette.

'But whatever, I don't even mind that you let those guys in. My gripe is about the guy you left out' said the mirror.

'Hey, what do you want me to do about that?' Defended the bouncer. 'He was a mess!'

'That mess', the mirror imitated in a sarcastic tone

'Served 10 years active duty in the army. Got that crack taking a bullet for you and your country, now needs to collect disability to survive, and you just turned him away like he was nothing'

'You let in those horrible people who make yours and everybody else's lives worse, but turned away the one guy who gave everything he had for the greater good'

The bouncer felt a huge pang of guilt.

The mirror threw his cigarette to the ground, gave the bouncer and stern gaze and said 'Let that sink in' #lamejoke