Inventor

A guy I met told me his friend Jack was the inventor of hot tubs. I said, “Jack, who’s he?” #lamejoke

Beethoven

When Beethoven was a kid, everyone told him he could never be a composer. But did he listen?!?! #lamejoke

Birthday

For my birthday, I received a faulty calculator. It didn’t work correctly. Couldn't get the number 8 to appear. I tried four times, too! #lamejoke

Sneeze

Why you shouldn’t sneeze in public? Because people will turn to look achoo. #lamejoke

Camera

The difference between a camera and a sock? One takes photos. The other takes five toes. #lamejoke

Entendre

Never trust a double entendre. It might sneak innuendo. #lamejoke

Knock

"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "To" "To who?" “No, to whom.” #lamejoke

Motown

I can name two or three Motown acts...maybe four, tops. #lamejoke

Pants

The kind of pants a ghost hunter wears? Just a paranormal jeans. #lamejoke

Tavern

The difference between a tavern and an elephant’s fart? One is a barroom and the other is a BARROOM! #lamejoke

Euclid

Although it can't be proven, it's widely accepted that Euclid had a storage space at the top of his house. It’s considered axiom attic. #lamejoke

Alphabet

In history, the third letter of the alphabet did not exist. Long time, no C. #lamejoke

Swimming

What you call a swimming flamingo? Flamboyant, maybe? #lamejoke

Aldi

I went to the Aldi grocery store yesterday to pick up a few items. I noticed they’re now selling a Humpty Dumpty toy. It comes with Aldi king’s horses and Aldi kings men. #lamejoke

Forks

Yoda and Luke are walking through the swamp. Part of their usual training course involves shimmying along a cliff ledge, but today, there’s a long break in the ledge they can’t cross. “Something for this I have.” Yoda says. He reaches into his bag and takes out a bunch of regular dinner table forks and a roll of duct tape. He tapes several forks together to make a bridge and lays it down, allowing the two of them to get across. When they get back to Yoda’s hovel, they find that some creature has chewed a hole in the fence around Yoda’s garden. “Something I have for this.” Yoda says again. Once again, he takes a bunch of forks out of his bag and, using duct tape, tapes them in to patch the hole. Yoda and Luke return to Yoda’s home, where Yoda looks through his bag. He’s used all his forks but one, he discovers. “That’s ok Master." Luke says, wanting to be helpful. “I’ll write us a note reminding us to buy more.” So he writes the note and uses the very last fork to pin it to the bulletin board. He looks down at Yoda expecting pride, but instead finds a look of horror. “Master Yoda!” he asks. “What did I do wrong?” Yoda replies sagely, “A Jedi uses the forks for no ledge and the fence. Never for a tack!” #lamejoke