Lassos

I didn’t choose this job assembling lassos for local cowboys. I got roped into it. #lamejoke

Scrabble

After finally winning a round of Scrabble, I stood on the game board while reciting Shakespeare. My wife asked, “Is this another one your stupid jokes?” I’m like, “No babe… it’s a play on words.” #lamejoke

Coal

Did you hear the one about the guy who hated coal? Never mined. #lamejoke

Teslas

The reason Teslas are so expensive is because they charge a lot. #lamejoke

Arabic

I thought I heard someone say hello to me in Arabic. Turns out it was a false Salaam. #lamejoke

Lettuce

The government just shut down a farm after receiving a tip that they were splicing human and lettuce DNA. Once on the scene, they found human romaines. #lamejoke

Guitar

If you want to know how to sound good when playing a guitar, stay tuned.... #lamejoke

Crackers

I returned my box of Animal Crackers. The seal was broken. #lamejoke

Brother

Asked my wife if she knew that Bruce Lee had a brother who didn’t tolerate joking around. She rolled her eyes and said, “Seriously?” I’m like, “Oh… you’ve heard of him!” #lamejoke

Salons

Nail salons are making a fortune these days. There’s a lot of money changing hands. #lamejoke

Meat

I know a place where you can buy dog meat cheap! It’s sold by the pound. #lamejoke

Soup

When I eat alphabet soup, I only eat the vowels. Why? Sometimes. #lamejoke

Confusing

The United States can be confusing. It just doesn’t make cents anymore. #lamejoke

King

Why Istanbul doesn’t have a king? Because they can’t stand a noble. #lamejoke

Pigs

So, this teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. When she came to the part of the story where first pig was trying to gather the building materials for his home, she read, "And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said, 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?'"The teacher paused, then asked the class: "And what do you think the man said?" One little boy raised his hand and said very matter of factly, "I think the man would have said, ‘Well, dang, a talking pig!’” #lamejoke