Bald

There was an old man who lived by a forest. As he grew older and older, he started losing his hair, until one day, on his deathbed, he was completely bald. That day, he called his children to a meeting… He said, "Look at my hair. It used to be so magnificent, but it's completely gone now. My hair can't be saved. But look outside at the forest. It's such a lovely forest with so many trees, but sooner or later they'll all be cut down and this forest will look as bald as my hair." "What I want you to do..." the man continued. "Is, every time a tree is cut down or dies, plant a new one in my memory. Tell your descendants to do the same. It shall be our family's duty to keep this forest strong." So they did. Each time the forest lost a tree, the children replanted one, and so did their children, and their children after them. And for centuries, the forest remained as lush and pretty as it once was, all because of one man and his re-seeding heirline. #lamejoke

Ocean

I went to the ocean to see the waves. It was just swell. #lamejoke

Competition

Just lost a stair climbing competition. I’m gonna have to step up my game. I guess there’s levels to this. #lamejoke

Giraffe

A man walks into a bar with a giraffe. A few hours pass and they decide it's time to finish up. They're extremely drunk and they stand up to leave but the giraffe falls over and passes out. The man staggers to the door, about to leave by himself, when the bartender stops him and says, "Hey! You can't leave that lyin' there!" The man stops and slurs, "Don't be silly, that's not a lion, that's a giraffe!" #lamejoke

Fighter

I think I saw a French fighter plane. Prolly just a mirage. #lamejoke

Disagreement

If you’re having a disagreement with a religious leader, don’t try to argue with him yourself. Fight friar with friar. #lamejoke

Lazy

Joey hates it when his wife gets angry at him for being lazy. It’s not like he did anything. #lamejoke

Hunting

If you're looking for a new hobby, blindfolded hunting is incredibly underrated. You don’t know what you’re missing. #lamejoke

Aliens

Aliens abducted Joey and forced him to wash his hands, clean his room, and eat his vegetables. Turns out he wasn’t on a spaceship, he was on the mothership. #lamejoke

Elephant

My balloon elephant was too big to fit in the backseat of my car, so I popped it in the trunk. #lamejoke

Cannibal

Did you hear the one about the cannibal who loved children? He just adored the platter of little feet. #lamejoke

Elvis

A shuttle full of Elvis impersonators crashed in Las Vegas yesterday. No one was hurt, but they were all shook up. #lamejoke

University

The local university has spent 200 years researching roaming cattle. This year they’re celebrating their bisontennial. #lamejoke

Cross

What you get if you cross a sheep with a cow? One odd looking animal that is always in a baaaaah-d mooooo-d!! #lamejoke 

And then there was the one about the cannibal wedding where they toasted the bride and groom. #lamejoke