Elephant

An elephant was drinking out of a river one day, when he spotted a turtle asleep on a log. So, he ambled on over and kicked it clear across the river. “What did you do that for?” asked a passing giraffe. “Because I recognized it as the same turtle that took a nip out of my trunk 53 years ago.” “Wow, what a memory,” commented the giraffe. “Yes,” said the elephant, “turtle recall.” #lamejoke

Hippopotamus

The hippopotamus was criticizing his son for the same mistakes he made at that age. It seems to me to be rather hippo critical. #lamejoke

Birthday

A pirate’s favorite thing at a birthday party? Da Balloons. #lamejoke 

Flat

I was changing a flat tire when it fell on my foot. Now I need a tow. #lamejoke

Inventor

A guy I met told me his friend Jack was the inventor of hot tubs. I said, “Jack, who’s he?” #lamejoke

Beethoven

When Beethoven was a kid, everyone told him he could never be a composer. But did he listen?!?! #lamejoke

Birthday

For my birthday, I received a faulty calculator. It didn’t work correctly. Couldn't get the number 8 to appear. I tried four times, too! #lamejoke

Sneeze

Why you shouldn’t sneeze in public? Because people will turn to look achoo. #lamejoke

Camera

The difference between a camera and a sock? One takes photos. The other takes five toes. #lamejoke

Entendre

Never trust a double entendre. It might sneak innuendo. #lamejoke

Knock

"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "To" "To who?" “No, to whom.” #lamejoke

Motown

I can name two or three Motown acts...maybe four, tops. #lamejoke

Pants

The kind of pants a ghost hunter wears? Just a paranormal jeans. #lamejoke

Tavern

The difference between a tavern and an elephant’s fart? One is a barroom and the other is a BARROOM! #lamejoke

Euclid

Although it can't be proven, it's widely accepted that Euclid had a storage space at the top of his house. It’s considered axiom attic. #lamejoke