Sunday, October 11, 2026

Death

There are two identical twin brothers that live together. One happens to be a well-respected dentist, and the other can't seem to keep a job. Instead of actively looking for work, he likes to sit around at home. One Saturday, the dentist is hungry, and puts his brother on the spot. He tells him to get off his lazy behind and go get them some food. After some protest, the lazy brother takes the car and leaves for the store. In the meantime, the dentist takes a nap on his day off. He turns off his phone so he won't be interrupted.

About 30 minutes later, the lazy brother gets into a head-on collision in the intersection by the grocery store. His vital signs are fading; he's unconscious and barely moving. An ambulance picks him up and rushes him to the hospital. He ends up in the Emergency Room under observation, but his condition is critical. They try calling his dentist brother, but he doesn't pick up because his phone is off.

The dentist wakes to a knock on the door. Suspecting a salesman, he ignores it, but the knocking continues. Eventually, he resolves to get up and yell at the person at the door. When he does, he reveals--- the grim reaper. He is just as he appears in movies; a full skeleton underneath a tattered cloak.

The grim reaper swears. "Oh no! This always happens with identical twins".

"What do you mean?" asks the dentist.

"Well... if you must know, your brother was in a critical car accident, and I've come to take him to the underworld. I'm afraid his time on Earth has ended. I'll take my leave now."

The dentist is noticeably upset. He says "Wait! Isn't there some way I can challenge you for my brother's life? After all, YOU made the mistake. Certainly there must be a way I can bargain for his life."

The grim reaper asks "What do you have in mind?"

The dentist thinks. "How about a challenge? If I beat you, you let my brother go free."

The grim reaper laughs. "I will beat you in any challenge. What challenge do you propose?"

The dentist smiles. "I propose we see who has the cleanest teeth. 5 minutes of brushing each, then we decide."

"Very well" says the grim reaper, who makes his way to the bathroom.

Once there, he pulls back his tattered cloak to reveal his skull. It's glistening. He takes a toothbrush from the bathroom, loads it with toothpaste, and brushes. After 5 minutes, the shiniest teeth anyone has ever seen glisten and make the room bright. The grim reaper grins. "You are foolish human. But, you are entitled to your chance."

The dentist takes another toothbrush, loads it with toothpaste, and starts brushing like a madman. When his 5 minutes are up, he spits out the paste. He smiles.

It's unbelievable.

The shine from the dentist's teeth is so beautiful that he can see the grim reaper's reflection in his perfectly clean teeth.

The winner is obvious. The grim reaper hangs his head in shame. "You win, human. This time. Your brother will live." He disappears in a puff of smoke. At the same instant, the bed-ridden brother wakes up in the hospital. Not only is he uninjured, he seems perfectly healthy. Suddenly, the phone by his bed rings. It's his brother, the dentist. He picks up. "Hey bro. You'll never believe what happened. Apparently, I went out to the market and got hit by a car. They say I almost died."

The dentist smiles on the phone and says. "That's interesting, bro. Today you might say that I also had a brush with death." #lamejoke

Thursday, October 8, 2026

Trip

I did a once in a lifetime trip last year. Never again. #lamejoke

Monday, October 5, 2026

Sunday, October 4, 2026

Jefferson

I wonder if Jefferson Davis was voted most likely to secede in high school? #lamejoke

Saturday, October 3, 2026

Amazon

I’ve just about had it with Amazon. Every time I order chicken pellets and grain, they email me three days later asking for their feed back. #lamejoke

Friday, October 2, 2026

Thursday, October 1, 2026

Penguins

Why penguins stay in pairs? Because freezer crowd. #lamejoke

Wednesday, September 30, 2026

Friend

My friend worked for Del Monte for eight years. They are harsh! He fell asleep on the production line just once and got canned. #lamejoke

Tuesday, September 29, 2026

Compasses

Compasses are easy to use become they come with directions. #lamejoke

Monday, September 28, 2026

Choice

When you have a tough choice to make, be sure to bring a raincoat because you might be in for some nasty whether.  #lamejoke

Sunday, September 27, 2026

Saturday, September 26, 2026

Pigeon

The difference between a composer and a pigeon? During a performance when a composer plays, the sound bounces around. When a pigeon makes a noise, a coo sticks. #lamejoke

Friday, September 25, 2026

Weight

If a rancher had to know the total weight of his herd, would he weigh each cow individually or would he do it on a large scale? #lamejoke

Thursday, September 24, 2026

Dissertation

Finishing up my PhD dissertation titled "Water Condensation on Grass". It’s dew in the morning. #lamejoke

Wednesday, September 23, 2026