Aliens

Aliens abducted Joey and forced him to wash his hands, clean his room, and eat his vegetables. Turns out he wasn’t on a spaceship, he was on the mothership. #lamejoke

Elephant

My balloon elephant was too big to fit in the backseat of my car, so I popped it in the trunk. #lamejoke

Cannibal

Did you hear the one about the cannibal who loved children? He just adored the platter of little feet. #lamejoke

Elvis

A shuttle full of Elvis impersonators crashed in Las Vegas yesterday. No one was hurt, but they were all shook up. #lamejoke

University

The local university has spent 200 years researching roaming cattle. This year they’re celebrating their bisontennial. #lamejoke

Cross

What you get if you cross a sheep with a cow? One odd looking animal that is always in a baaaaah-d mooooo-d!! #lamejoke 

And then there was the one about the cannibal wedding where they toasted the bride and groom. #lamejoke

Fireworks

I enjoyed the fireworks last night. They were the highlight of the evening. #lamejoke

Nudist

They welcome new members at nudist colonies with bear hugs. #lamejoke

Margarine

I almost posted a joke here about margarine. But then I realized I could do butter. #lamejoke

Pepsi

Sarah left a can of Pepsi on a fence railing at a rest stop about 60 miles south of Tampa. That’s where Sarah’s soda is. #lamejoke

Cookie

Be advised that when you tour a cookie factory, you’ll be asked to sign a wafer. #lamejoke

Moles

Captain Hook, the pirate, went to a dermatologist to examine suspicious moles on his neck. "They're benign," the doctor assured the Captain. “Argh,” said Hook. “Check again doc. I counted, there be ten!” #lamejoke

Sandpaper

I'm reading a book about sandpaper. It’s a work of friction. #lamejoke

Uniform

When I saw a police officer wearing a pilots uniform, I thought it was a bit odd. Then I realized he was one of those plane clothes cops. #lamejoke