Wilde

Oscar Wilde once bragged that he could come up with a pun for any subject. One of his friends, thinking Wilde wouldn't risk offending royalty, shouted, "Really? What about the Queen?” Wilde replied, "The Queen is not a subject!"  #lamejoke

Rash

Found out that our car has a rash. The mechanic told me it was an autoimmune disorder.  #lamejoke 

Flasher

Our local flasher, Pervy Pete, was considering retiring after 40 years, but he decided to stick it out for another six months.  #lamejoke

Cat

Our cat loves stormy weather. When it rains, it purrs.  #lamejoke

Rope

A friend asked me if I can tie a piece of rope. I said that I can knot.  #lamejoke

Salmon

My buddy was telling me about his new hobby of photographing salmon in different outfits.  He said that it’s as easy as shooting fish in apparel.  #lamejoke 

Locksmith

I’ve written a song about a locksmith. There’s a lovely key change at the end.  #lamejoke

Dogs

Thousands of years ago, some stray dogs wandered into the Australian outback looking for food. It dingo so well.  #lamejoke

Möbius

Joey makes Möbius strips for living. It’s a strange way to make ends meet. #lamejoke

Roux

Back when I cooked more often, I never really understood roux. Ahhh, the pot thickens…. #lamejoke

Food

The food that weighs less than two tons? Wonton. #lamejoke

Abacus

I got an imaginary abacus for my birthday. I guess it's the thought that counts. #lamejoke

Blender

Cannibals like to keep a blender on their front porches. They enjoy greeting their friends with warm hand shakes. #lamejoke

Computers

I’m old enough to remember when computers only came with a keyboard. Initially I couldn’t see the point of a mouse. Then it clicked.  #lamejoke

Hand

I’m not saying I need a hand, but here’s the Thing…. #lamejoke