Phones

Just when you thought that vegetables don’t have phones, onion rings. #lamejoke

Bad

Not everything in this world is bad. For example, the sun is a high light. #lamejoke

Cruise

Joey hasn’t been allowed back on a cruise ship. Ever since that whole ‘poop deck’ misunderstanding. #lamejoke

Cloning

I invented a diy human cloning machine that runs on a regular 110v outlet. Just make yourself at home. #lamejoke

Guts

It takes guts to be an organ donor. #lamejoke

Play

I really wanted to be in the play about the guy who kills his brother, but I was busy that day and wasn’t able.  #lamejoke

Wife

My wife asked, “ Are you even listening to me?” I thought, “That’s a weird way to start a conversation….” #lamejoke

Job

My boss said, “Dress for the job you want, not the one you have.” So I went in as Batman. #lamejoke

Tanks

They say that having fish tanks can help soothe mental and physical pain. It’ prolly because of all the indoor fins. #lamejoke

Tongue

I found a 9 volt battery on the side walk one day. Touched it to my tongue to see if it was still good. It was. I was shocked. #lamejoke

Golf

"Golf is the epitome of precision and control,” he said. “That’s very well putt,” said I. #lamejoke

Beer

Beer can damage your short term memory. But so can beer. #lamejoke

Sting

Did you hear about the world wide sting operation on people who mix drinks? Many of them are behind bars. #lamejoke

Pizza

I once worked at a cheap pizza shop to get by. I just kneaded the dough. #lamejoke

Cheese

What you call a can of nacho cheese kept in a fallout shelter? Justin queso. #lamejoke