Trip

I did a once in a lifetime trip last year. Never again. #lamejoke

Skunk

 I deleted my skunk pun. It made nose scents. #lamejoke

Jefferson

I wonder if Jefferson Davis was voted most likely to secede in high school? #lamejoke

Amazon

I’ve just about had it with Amazon. Every time I order chicken pellets and grain, they email me three days later asking for their feed back. #lamejoke

Eclipse

Worst solar eclipse ever. One star. #lamejoke

Penguins

Why penguins stay in pairs? Because freezer crowd. #lamejoke

Friend

My friend worked for Del Monte for eight years. They are harsh! He fell asleep on the production line just once and got canned. #lamejoke

Compasses

Compasses are easy to use become they come with directions. #lamejoke

Choice

When you have a tough choice to make, be sure to bring a raincoat because you might be in for some nasty whether.  #lamejoke

Beehive

A beehive without an exit? Unbelievable! #lamejoke

Pigeon

The difference between a composer and a pigeon? During a performance when a composer plays, the sound bounces around. When a pigeon makes a noise, a coo sticks. #lamejoke

Weight

If a rancher had to know the total weight of his herd, would he weigh each cow individually or would he do it on a large scale? #lamejoke

Dissertation

Finishing up my PhD dissertation titled "Water Condensation on Grass". It’s dew in the morning. #lamejoke

Bed

Tom Hanks goes to bed everyday for rest. #lamejoke

Skydiving

I can’t understand why skydiving is so expensive. It’s supposed to be a free fall. #lamejoke