A woman had gained a few pounds. It was most noticeable to her when she squeezed into a pair of her old blue jeans. Wondering if the added weight was noticeable to everyone else, she asked her husband, "Honey, do these jeans make me look like the side of the house?" 

"No, dear, not at all," he replied, "Our house isn't blue." 

He is almost over the cold he caught sleeping in the garage for 3 nights.