Binoculars

The name of a man with a nice set of binoculars? Seymour. #lamejoke 

Vehicle

The type of vehicle witches like to drive? A stick. #lamejoke

Horses

I wasn’t sure if I wanted to live next to a couple of horses, but like it or not, they’re my new neighbors. #lamejoke 

Mobius

A Mobius strip walks into a bar. Seeing it sobbing, the bartender asks what's wrong. The Mobius strip replies, "Where do I even begin?" #lamejoke 

Insect

I remember going yo the circus as a child and watching a tiny insect play the triangle, but it’s nothing more than a flea ting memory now. #lamejoke 

Glasses

My earliest memory is going to the eye doctor to get my first pair of glasses. Everything before that was a blur. #lamejoke

Meringue

An Australian ghost’s favorite kind of meringue? Boo! #lamejoke

Goat

Joey goes to a psychiatrist and says, "Hey doc I have a problem. I keep thinking I'm a goat." The shrink says, "Okay, how long have you had this problem?" Joey says, "Since I was a kid." #lamejoke

Inertia

There's a new theory of inertia, but it doesn’t seem to be gaining momentum. #lamejoke

Jokes

I like telling dad jokes. But, then again, I’m a groan man. #lamejoke

Cheetah

Just bred a cheetah with a crab. Things went sideways really fast. #lamejoke 

Proctologist

Joey was surprised when his proctologist ordered a follow-up test. Turns out it was a poop quiz. #lamejoke 

Girlfriend

Joey’s cannibal girlfriend finally convinced him to sleep over. Promised to make him breakfast in the morning. #lamejoke

Dracula

Dracula decided to ditch the cape. Wanted to revamp his wardrobe. #lamejoke

Magician

I went to back out of my driveway but in my rear view mirror I saw a magician blocking my path. Got out of the car to get him to move, and he wasn't there. Must have been an Obstacle Illusion. #lamejoke