Thud

What goes "Ha, ha, ha, thud?" Someone laughing their head off. #lamejoke

Astrologers

My name is Jim and the astrologer said I have a dual personality… Jim and I. #lamejoke 

Rottweiler

Then there was the one about the postal worker who was chased by a Rottweiler? He got a bit behind that day. #lamejoke

Sausages

Found a great place online to order sausages. I’ll send you a link. #lamejoke 

Tent

Joey’s son decided it would be a good idea for him to eat a tent. Now he’s having terrible stomach camps. #lamejoke 

Philosophers

Philosophers always seem insightful because they are very whys. #lamejoke 

Cows

Looking for someone to help with milking cows on our farm. Must work well with udders. #lamejoke 

Booger

My wife and I were asked if we wanted to become members of the "Booger Free Clear Nose" club. I told them to sinus up. #lamejoke 

Underwear

The best underwear puns are brief. #lamejoke 

Shakespeare

Breaking news: Historians believe that they've uncovered a cache of pencils that once belonged to William Shakespeare. A spokesperson said, "They're so badly chewed on the ends, we can't tell if they're 2B or not 2B." #lamejoke

Teeth

Someone said I couldn’t tell a pun about crooked teeth. Brace yourself. #lamejoke

Injury

Where you go when you get a peek-a-boo injury? The ICU. #lamejoke

Owl

A strange owl saw a witch fly by on a broomstick and grabbed her. Weird owl yanked a witch. #lamejoke 

Dance

If Apple owned a dance venue, do you think they'd call it the Mac Arena? #lamejoke

Performance

"Calm down, it's all right. If you want, I'll be the guy who portrays Katherine in tonight's performance of The Taming of the Shrew," said Tim, placatingly. #lamejoke