Avocado

If you hit a mole with an avocado, it’s guac a mole. #lamejoke

Bear

A bear walked into the woods and came out bare. Must have had a vowel movement. #lamejoke 

Rash

How does Harry Potter get rid of a rash? With Quit-itch. #lamejoke

Joke

The joke I regret the most is the one about a boomerang and a ghost. It still comes back to haunt me. #lamejoke 

Band

I joined a band called Paper. Mostly we cover rock. #lamejoke

Flowers

Joey told me he was getting his wife purple thorny flowers for her birthday. He said, "Thistle make her happy!" #lamejoke

Pickles

Pickles on a hot dog? I relish the thought. #lamejoke 

Halloween

Halloween brings back a lot of scary trick-or-treat memories from my childhood. Like the time when I was eight and I almost choked to death on a Tootsie pop. Luckily my Grandpa was there and had enough good sense to tell me to stop lolly-gagging. #lamejoke

Joule

Someone said that the joule is the unit of energy in the International System of Units. I was like, watt?!? #lamejoke 

Elf

I heard a knock on my door. It turned out to be a small elf demanding that I take his photo right there on the spot. It was a little imp posing. #lamejoke

Film

My favorite film is The Hunchback of Notre Dame. I love a protagonist with a twisted back story. #lamejoke

Watch

I bought a second hand luxury watch. The minute and hour hands were not included. #lamejoke

Halloween

Need a date for Halloween? October 31. #lamejoke 

Doctor

A woman wanted to break up with her doctor boyfriend. He was having none of it. She started eating apples. #lamejoke

Mallard

This mallard waddled into a bar. He should've ducked. #lamejoke