I made some fish tacos last night, but they just ignored them and swam away. #lamejoke

Today I learned that people eat more bananas than monkeys. In fact, I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey. #lamejoke

We imported a tree from Canada. It's pretty oak, eh. #lamejoke

Will the quarantine end on April 30th? It May…. #lamejoke

Never let anyone tell you what can or cannot do. Just look at Beethoven - everyone told him he wouldn't make it as a musician. But did he listen? #lamejoke

My uncle is the bass in a barbershop quartet. Yesterday was his first time to sing so low. #lamejoke

My recliner and I go way back. #lamejoke

Joey's wife believes she's a satellite radio. At first, he thought she was kidding. But apparently, she's sirius. #lamejoke

With all the concern about plastic waste these days, it's easy to see why clingfilm gets such a bad wrap. #lamejoke

The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested. I hear they're gonna give him a really tough sentence. #lamejoke

Nail salons closed. Lash salons closed. Hair salons closed. Tanning salons closed. Waxing salons closed. It's about to get ugly out there. #lamejoke

Did you know that a school of piranha can devour a child in 30 seconds?!?! On another subject, I lost my job at the aquarium today. #lamejoke

Don't be angry with lazy people. They didn't do anything. #lamejoke

I accidentally ate some cat food. Don't ask meow. #lamejoke

Only a nickel for an embroidered pinwheel? Good buy, crewel whirled! #lamejoke