I've decided to self-identify as deodorant. Before you ask, yes, I am sure. #lamejoke

A friend likes pickles in his pizza crust. Such a weirdough. #lamejoke

The pirate didn't travel on the mountain road because 'scurvy. #lamejoke

How do I feel about canned food? I give it and ate out of tin. #lamejoke

The plaintiff brought in a rabbit as his key witness. The judge dismissed it as hare say. #lamejoke

Moby Dick didn't have a funeral but he did have a huge wake.  #lamejoke

Most snakes are just looking for a place to be long. #lamejoke

If I had a nickel for every bread pun, I'd have a pun per nickel. #lamejoke

I wanted to go on a diet, but I feel like I have way too much on my plate right now. #lamejoke

The local expressway has become blocked after a truck shed its load of brightly colored writing paper and envelopes. The cops say that the traffic is pretty stationery. #lamejoke

I saw this Halloween witch picking her feet. I wonder if this is where candy corn comes from…. #lamejoke

I saw a guy pouring soy sauce on another guy laying on the ground. You know, it's not right to Kikkoman when he's down. #lamejoke

A friend just tried to tell me a joke about pumpkins. Oh, gourd, was it awful.... #lamejoke

A local school abolished exams and some people were upset. They were protesting. #lamejoke

Today, I bought the world’s worst thesaurus. Not only was it terrible, it was also terrible. #lamejoke