Speak no more than necessary. To do otherwise is just sylly. #lamejoke

My new job is digging holes to look for water. It is, well, boring. #lamejoke

The optimist sees the donut whole; the pessimist sees the donut hole. #lamejoke

Joey dressed up as Satan and started combining oxygen, nitrogen, argon, carbon dioxide, and methane. He has a real Devil make air attitude. #lamejoke

Then there was the one about the mechanic who slept under the car because he wanted to wake up oily in  the morning. #lamejoke

I’ve decided to write a book about a person who learns to take better care of their hair as they get older. I see it as a real combing-of-age story. #lamejoke

Hey dad, will you shoot the ball? No thanks, I'll pass. #lamejoke

Dig politicians' graves at least 100 feet beneath the surface, because deep down, they are good people. #lamejoke 

Buying three dozen head of cattle nearly wiped me out. Then I bought four more. I really need a forty bull housing. #lamejoke

Driving with one headlight isn't very bright. #lamejoke

Joey told me he wants to make a house out of car tires. I'm thinking it's prolly gonna take a good year or two.  #lamejoke

I have this weird Christmas talent where I can identify what’s inside a wrapped present. It's a gift. #lamejoke

Joey's started dating this girl who works at the zoo. His mom likes her too. Thinks she's a keeper. #lamejoke

I don't know who invented haircuts, but it was probably a barberian. #lamejoke

Making a boat out of stone would be a hardship. #lamejoke