What happens when you buy a bigger bed?

You have more bed room but less bedroom.

What did the butcher say when he found a group of people who'd been trapped in his meat locker all night?

Icy dead people.

Why is being a pirate is so popular?

Once you lose your hand, you're hooked!

How do you stop a skunk smelling?

Hold its nose.

How do trees get online?

They log in.

So, I wanted to publish my book on how to maximize storage usage in the kitchen. 

But the publisher refused, saying they could not publish illegal material. 

Stupid anti counter fitting laws.

What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?

Tinselitis.

Capitalization can really change a sentence.

Example:

I love to eat candy.

I love to eat capitalization.

What is a ninja's favorite drink?

Wataaaaaaa!!!

They walk down the aisle in their underwear and it's called "art" and "fashion".

When Joey does it, he's "drunk" and "not allowed back in Target".

What hides in Santa's bakery at Christmas?

A mince spy! 

Who does Sherlock Holmes face after E. R. T.?

Moriarty.

Why are people in Taiwan's capital so serious?

They all have Taipei personalities.

Which of Santa’s reindeer needs to mind his manners the most?

Rude-Olph.

How do you make a chicken egg roll?

Put it on an inclined plane.