Showering

Before I gave up on showering, I really didn’t care for mushrooms, but they’re starting to grow on me. #lamejoke

Shame

Remember, puns on St Patrick's day don't just shame you, they Seamus all. #lamejoke

Raining

Anything worse than when it's raining cats and dogs? Hailing taxis, maybe? #lamejoke

Vet

I called the vet to set an appointment for my cat. The receptionist said they had Dr. Taylor and Dr. Smith available this afternoon. I told her to book it. The receptionist asked which doctor? No thanks, a regular one would be fine. #lamejoke 

Doctor

You may be wondering what kind of doctor Dr. Pepper was? A fizzician maybe? #lamejoke 

Care

Dr. Ronald Peak and Dr. Ismael Abu donated money to a new intensive care unit. They're calling it the Peak, Abu ICU. #lamejoke

Telegraph

What the telegraph operator felt when he had to send a message a second time? Remorse. #lamejoke 

Pickup

A pickup line that works every time? Does this rag smell like chloroform? #lamejoke

Joke

What sets a mom joke apart from a dad joke? It’s all in the delivery. #lamejoke

Cornbread

How long it takes to make cornbread? Not long at all. It’s done in a jiffy. #lamejoke 

Vehicle

The vehicle Mickey Mouse’s wife drives? A minivan. #lamejoke

Sausage

Don’t eat any of that yellowish sausage. It’s meaty ochre. #lamejoke 

Eggs

Last night, someone broke into Joey’s house and took a dozen eggs. They also left a saucepan behind filled with warm water. Police think they were poachers. #lamejoke

Soldier

Joey went drinking with his buddy and they got into an argument about what to call a medieval soldier. It started getting late so they called it a night. #lamejoke 

Sale

The big sale at the clothing store got rough. People socked it out and there were casual tees everywhere. #lamejoke