Dog

Joey used to have a dog that farted a particular musical note. It was a sharp “A”. #lamejoke

Lice

Once upon a time, a young man developed an itchy head that lasted for days. At his wits end, he finally visited the doctor to be checked for lice. When the examination ended, the doctor broke the news that there were no lice at all, but rather, his head was infested with an army of tiny turtles. This is the story of the tortoise in the hair. #lamejoke

Nose

My buddy wants to get a nose job and asked which one I liked the most, but I didn't say. After all...you can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose. #lamejoke

Ceiling

My neighbor asked me to help him hang some sheet rock on his hallway ceiling. I said, “Man, that’s screwed up.” #lamejoke 

Jokes

Dad jokes. That’s how eye roll. #lamejoke

Cattle

I have something to say about see-through cattle. Steer clear. #lamejoke

Chickens

Chickens only make one sound because they can’t think outside the bawks. #lamejoke

Restaurant

The busy cannibal restaurant told its customers to order ahead. #lamejoke

Corn

When I woke up this morning, I found that my whole body had turned to corn. If anyone has any suggestions, I’m all ears. #lamejoke

Lumber

I used to work at a lumber yard, but I got board. #lamejoke 

God

My wife said that I look like a Greek god. Her actual words were, “Put your clothes on, you idiot, we’re in a museum!” But I know what she really meant. #lamejoke

Frisbee

Then there’s the one about the ultimate frisbee competition on TV. It’s on the Disc Hovery network. #lamejoke 

Poison

In ancient Rome, there were four kinds of poisons. Poisons I, II, and III would kill you instantly, but Poison IV would just make you itch. #lamejoke

Pancakes

I prefer to eat my pancakes raw. They’re just batter that way. #lamejoke

Clowns

Then there's the one about the entire second floor of a hotel that was rented to a group of clowns. It’s a pretty funny story. #lamejoke