Kabobs

There was a study done on how often people make kabobs. But they had to start over because the results were skewed. #lamejoke

Chins

Met 20 people today but only 10 of them had chins. Sounds like a ten chin deficit, doesn’t it? #lamejoke

Good

If only there were a way to say really good in one word, that would be great! #lamejoke

Lost

Two men are lost in the desert, and are desperate for water.

Knowing they are just hours away from certain death, they see a group of three tents in the distance. They stagger towards the tents, realizing that this may be their last hope.

Entering the first tent, they see an Arab trader, and the first man gasps: "Water, water...!"

The trader replies, "I'm sorry my friend, I've only got mixed fruit here."

"What?! Mixed fruit?" says the thirsty man.

"Yeah, just mixed fruit, sorry," replies the trader. "Try next door."

The men enter the next tent, and again the first man gasps: "Water, water...!"

The trader inside replies, "I'm terribly sorry, but I've only got jelly."

"What? I don't believe this," says the man.

"Yeah, just loads of jelly. There might be water in the last tent, you could try there," suggests the trader.

Reaching the last tent they crawl in. "Water, water...!" gasps the first man.

The trader, immediately looks apologetic, and says, "I'm sorry, I've only got custard here."

The thirsty men are now distraught. "Forget you and your tents," says the first man. "That was totally useless!"

Together with his friend, he staggers back into the desert.

A little later, the first man turns to his friend and says, "Back there with the tents, that was a bit weird wasn't it?"

"Yes," says his companion, "it was a trifle bazaar." #lamejoke

Sprinter

Joey didn’t get the joke about the sprinter who was racing in the 100 yard dash and accidentally inhaled a bug. Apparently it’s a running gag. #lamejoke

Mom

I saw my mom upside down today. I was like “wow”. #lamejoke

Beetle

A dung beetle walks into a bar. "Is this stool taken?" #lamejoke

Apple

Is it true that an apple a day keeps the doctor away or is it one of Granny’s myths? #lamejoke 

Air

I invented a thought controlled air freshener. Makes scents when you think about it. #lamejoke

Werewolf

The worst thing about werewolf YouTubers? They always ask you to lycan subscribe. #lamejoke

Table

Just bought an original Van Gogh coffee table. I know it’s authentic because there’s a piece of veneer missing. #lamejoke

Godfather

The Godfather was having a conversation with his wife about the state of his empire.

"Honey," he said. "The people just don't fear me like they used to. Tributes are down, protection money is down. The other gangs aren't giving us our respect. Heck, it's taken us two weeks to get the repairs started on our kitchen, and even NOW, the carpenter is making a ton of noise during our dinner. You've prepared such a nice meal."

"Vito", she said gingerly. "Of course the people don't fear you, you haven't given them a REASON to fear you in a long while. You've gone soft, dear."

Anger flashed through his eyes.

"Perhaps", he said, scratching his throat. "Maybe it's time to remind them of who I am."

At this he made a slashing motion with his finger.

One week later, the Godfather and his wife were at dinner, again talking about the state of his empire.

"Tributes are back up. Protection money is back up", he said gleefully. "You show the strength, you show the muscle, and the people remember just how much you control the city."

"I love that, honey!" she said. "Just like the man I married. And you even got the repairs to stop during dinner so we can have some peace and quiet."

Don Vito smiled proudly, slashing at his throat. "That's because I had to whack the carpenter," he said.

"He saw too much." #lamejoke

Acting

Two students at the University of Alabama had to share an acting part. They were role tied. #lamejoke

Waves

Our hero’s second adventure had him learning how to calm the ocean’s waves. It was a sea quell. #lamejoke

Printer

My friend was bragging that his 3D printer could print a gun, but I wasn’t impressed. I've had a Canon printer for years. #lamejoke