Cricket

I've heard that cricket matches can last for days. I guess there's no rest for the wicket. #lamejoke

Lobster

I walked by a lobster shack. The sign said: $2.00 Lobster Tails. I pay the guy the two dollars. He begins,"Once upon a time, there was this lobster....." #lamejoke

Limbo

Just so you know, when it comes to limbo, I set the bar pretty high. #lamejoke 

Teacher

My favorite teacher back in school was Mrs Turtle. Funny name, but she tortoise well. #lamejoke

Cheese

I've had a hard time figuring out why I don't consider cottage cheese truly "cheese". But, now that I've said that, it's just a curd to me. #lamejoke

Last Wish

There was an old man who lived by a forest. As he grew older and older, he started losing his hair, until one day, on his deathbed, he was completely bald. That day, he called his children to a meeting.

He said, "Look at my hair. It used to be so magnificent, but it's completely gone now. My hair can't be saved. But look outside at the forest. It's such a lovely forest with so many trees, but sooner or later they'll all be cut down and this forest will look as bald as my hair."

"What I want you to do..." the man continued. "Is, every time a tree is cut down or dies, plant a new one in my memory. Tell your descendants to do the same. It shall be our family's duty to keep this forest strong."

So they did.

Each time the forest lost a tree, the children replanted one, and so did their children, and their children after them.

And for centuries, the forest remained as lush and pretty as it once was, all because of one man and his re-seeding heirline. #lamejoke

Water

Jerry can lift a gallon of water. #lamejoke 

Apostrophe

Joey dated an apostrophe once. Way too possessive. #lamejoke

Fighter

The ancient Roman fighter showed no remorse as a cannibal. In fact, he was gladiator. #lamejoke

Solar

Generating all of our power from solar energy? It's not gonna happen overnight. #lamejoke

Braid

Back in the day, one of my daughters once asked if I could braid her hair. The result was a parently knot. #lamejoke 

Bees

The reason bees stay in the hive in the winter? Swarm. #lamejoke

Horror

I saw a horror movie about people who could not stop sneezing until they died. It's based on achoo story. #lamejoke

Elton John

Then there was the joke about Elton John. It's a little bit funny. #lamejoke

Carryout

The name of a carryout restaurant which only sells dairy? How about whey-to-go? #lamejoke