I have the best skin care routine. It’s not good enough to bring you to tears, but it’ll certainly moisturize. #lamejoke

Let me begin by telling you a little bit about myself. It's a reflective pronoun that means "me". #lamejoke

I bought my grandchildren some crayons recently. They make my kin scrawl. #lamejoke

Joey once lived a stone's throw away from a family that all died of mysterious head injuries. #lamejoke

Chopped pickles relish their days off. #lamejoke

The bird feeder in the backyard is empty. I'm anticipating some nasty tweets. #lamejoke

I'm having trouble organizing a hide-and-seek league. Good players are hard to find. #lamejoke

It costs a Quid each to go to Hogwarts. #lamejoke

I made some fish tacos last night, but they just ignored them and swam away. #lamejoke

Today I learned that people eat more bananas than monkeys. In fact, I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey. #lamejoke

We imported a tree from Canada. It's pretty oak, eh. #lamejoke

Will the quarantine end on April 30th? It May…. #lamejoke

Never let anyone tell you what can or cannot do. Just look at Beethoven - everyone told him he wouldn't make it as a musician. But did he listen? #lamejoke

My uncle is the bass in a barbershop quartet. Yesterday was his first time to sing so low. #lamejoke

My recliner and I go way back. #lamejoke