I swallowed a large pair of earrings. Can they be removed? I remain hoopful. #lamejoke

A friend just started a business gathering sticks together and tying them for convenient handling. He's making a bundle. #lamejoke

My expensive car got stuck in the mud. I know what you’re thinking: Porsche muck. #lamejoke

When the senator missed the morning bus he decided to run for office. #lamejoke

Never invite ghosts to your Halloween party. They just come for the booos. #lamejoke

Ever notice bankers tend to keep to themselves? They're loaners by nature. #lamejoke

Science is now saying birthdays are healthy for you. Apparently people who have more live longer…. #lamejoke

Someone asked me to rate our galaxy. I'm thinking one star. #lamejoke

If there’s one thing that makes me throw up, it's a dartboard on the ceiling. #lamejoke

Can someone tell me if it's true that fishermen put maggots in their mouths to warm them up? Awaiting a reply with baited breath.... #lamejoke

I've decided to self-identify as deodorant. Before you ask, yes, I am sure. #lamejoke

A friend likes pickles in his pizza crust. Such a weirdough. #lamejoke

The pirate didn't travel on the mountain road because 'scurvy. #lamejoke

How do I feel about canned food? I give it and ate out of tin. #lamejoke

The plaintiff brought in a rabbit as his key witness. The judge dismissed it as hare say. #lamejoke