Moby Dick didn't have a funeral but he did have a huge wake.  #lamejoke

Most snakes are just looking for a place to be long. #lamejoke

If I had a nickel for every bread pun, I'd have a pun per nickel. #lamejoke

I wanted to go on a diet, but I feel like I have way too much on my plate right now. #lamejoke

The local expressway has become blocked after a truck shed its load of brightly colored writing paper and envelopes. The cops say that the traffic is pretty stationery. #lamejoke

I saw this Halloween witch picking her feet. I wonder if this is where candy corn comes from…. #lamejoke

I saw a guy pouring soy sauce on another guy laying on the ground. You know, it's not right to Kikkoman when he's down. #lamejoke

A friend just tried to tell me a joke about pumpkins. Oh, gourd, was it awful.... #lamejoke

A local school abolished exams and some people were upset. They were protesting. #lamejoke

Today, I bought the world’s worst thesaurus. Not only was it terrible, it was also terrible. #lamejoke

Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments often goes undetected. #lamejoke

I have CDO. It’s like OCD, but the letters are in alphabetical order. As they should be. #lamejoke

As less and less people are buying into religion, prophets are down. #lamejoke

I just scream out broccoli or cauliflower, sometimes both, for no good reason. I think I might have florets.... #lamejoke

This three pack a day guy had a legless dog. Since his wife didn't like him smoking in the house, any time he needed a cigarette, he'd take the dog out for a drag. #lamejoke