What do you call a hen looking at a bowl of lettuce?

Chicken sees a salad.

Why did the two punsters get a divorce?

I reckon syllable differences.

How do they griddles cakes in China?

In a pan - Duh!

How would one describe Chinese food that isn't great?

Tso, tso.

Why did the soldier flush the toilet?

It was his duty.

How did the hay get out of jail?

It made bale.

What do baby kangaroo brothers call each other?

Roo-mates.

What do you call an empty container of cheese wiz?

Cheese was.

What does the Lone Ranger say when he takes a load of trash to the landfill?

"To-the-dump, to-the-dump, to-the-dump-dump-dump..."

Joey's aunt’s Zodiac star sign was Cancer, so it’s pretty ironic how she died.…

She was eaten by a giant crab.

Did you know that if you drink the fluid from a Magic 8 Ball you can see the future?

It’s true. Joey's friend, Steve, did it, and said he was going to die, and then he did.

What did the duck say when it found an avocado?

"Guac, guac."

I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve been to Chernobyl.

It’s seven.

What did the green grape say to the purple grape?

Breathe, dammit, breathe!

After God had created 24 hours of alternating light and darkness, one of his angels asked him what he was going to do next.

He said, “I think I’m going to call it a day.”