What's the best advice you can give to a blood donor?

Be positive.

What kind of fish is made of only two sodium atoms?

2 Na.

Joey's dad is obsessed with all types of bags. Where does he live?

Baghdad.

Where do equines go when they're sick?

The horsepital.

Why did the wizard's girlfriend have a lot of hickeys?

Because he's a neck romancer.

I told my wife about about a bee that I thought was dead but it was still walking.

It must have been a Zom-bee.

What did the fog say to the mist?

Two's company, three's a cloud.

What did the Andean mammal say when it was time to go on vacation?

Alpaca suitcase.

What's a runner's favorite class in school?

Jography.

What do you call a crazy guy in a room full of mosquitoes?

A bit neurotic.

Why did the sycophant open an Indian restaurant?

He wanted to curry favor.

If there’s a bee in your hand, what’s in your eye?

Beauty… beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder.

What’s a comedian’s least favorite drink?

Booze.

What do you call the man who just tried to sell me Supergirl, Lara Croft, and Wonder Woman?

I call him a heroine dealer.

How did the circle catch the square?

With a trapezoid.