Knock, knock!

Who’s there?

Dexter.

Dexter, who?

Dexter halls with boughs of holly.

What’s the difference between Santa’s reindeer and a knight?

One slays the dragon, and the other's draggin' the sleigh.

"Dad, I’ve been picked for the school football team!"

"That’s great, son.  Which position do you play?"

"The coach says I’m one of the drawbacks."

What has given Mr. Bubbles nightmares since elementary school?

Pop quizzes!

Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

Because it takes them a long time to swallow their pride.

What is Santa Claus's nationality?

North Polish.

How does a sheep say “Merry Christmas”?

“Fleece Navidad!”

A farmer picks up an Native American hitchhiking. 

The Indian is a man of few words but eventually looks at the brown paper bag in between them and asks, "Mmm, what's in the bag?" 

The farmer says, "It's a bottle of wine that I got for my wife." 

The Indian thinks for a second and says, "Mmm, good trade."

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Olive.

Olive, who?

Olive the other reindeer....

What do snowmen like to do on the weekend?

Chill out.

Why was school easier for cave people?

Because there was no history to study.

Why are soldiers so tired on April 1?

Because they just had a 31 day March.

Why did the atom cross the road?

It was time to split.

A tourist stopped a local in a village he was visiting and asked, “What is the quickest way to the lake?" 

The local thought for a while. “Are you walking or driving?” he asked the tourist. 

“I’m driving.” 

“That is the quickest way!” the local said.

Which famous inventor of the telegraph enjoyed campfire treats?

S. Morse.