Friday, May 31, 2024

Decay

I'm looking for someone to brush their teeth with me, because nine out of ten dentists say that brushing alone won't help tooth decay. #lamejoke 

Thursday, May 30, 2024

Barber

Joey’s been accepted into barber school. Looks like he made the cut. #lamejoke 

Tuesday, May 28, 2024

Eye

The man’s name who only paid 5 cents for a prosthetic eye? Nikolai. #lamejoke

Monday, May 27, 2024

Cows

A local tailor is offering a weird promotion. All month long, cows have been able to bring in their underwear for free alterations. It’s udder May hem. #lamejoke

Sunday, May 26, 2024

Asparagus

I went to the store to get ten asparagus, but when I got home I realized that I had gotten eleven. It was just a spare, I guess. #lamejoke 

Saturday, May 25, 2024

Meeting

I told a joke during a Zoom meeting and no one laughed. I guess I’m not even remotely funny. #lamejoke 

Friday, May 24, 2024

Monkey

Then there was the one about the monkey that got arrested for throwing lit feces at zoo employees. Three of them were rushed to the hospital with turd degree burns. #lamejoke 

Thursday, May 23, 2024

Commuting

It’s not just cell phones that distract drivers these days, Today, there was a rug-maker commuting in rush hour. He was weaving in traffic. #lamejoke

Wednesday, May 22, 2024

Challenge

Knife-throwers are not afraid of a challenge. In fact, they like to take a stab at lots of things. #lamejoke

Tuesday, May 21, 2024

Rocky

Did you know that Sylvester Stallone is on his third marriage? His first one was rocky. His second one was rocky too. #lamejoke

Monday, May 20, 2024

Flight

I'm going to start a flight company exclusively for bald people. Receding Airlines. #lamejoke

Sunday, May 19, 2024

Test

Joey finally took his driving test yesterday. He got 8 out of 10. The other two guys jumped clear. #lamejoke

Saturday, May 18, 2024

Tibia

They're currently excavating the world's largest dinosaur tibia. Apparently, it's a real shindig. #lamejoke

Friday, May 17, 2024

Yellowstone

 I’m working on a joke about Yellowstone National Park. You geyser gonna love it. #lamejoke

Thursday, May 16, 2024

Sausage

I just found a great website to get sausage online! I’ll send you a link. #lamejoke 

Wednesday, May 15, 2024

Tuesday, May 14, 2024

Dictionary

I was so bored that I memorized six pages of the dictionary. I learned next to nothing. #lamejoke 

Monday, May 13, 2024

Star Wars

Star Wars. What's the internal temperature of a Tauntaun? Luke warm. #lamejoke 

Sunday, May 12, 2024

Windy

Yesterday was very windy. Joey told me something about pissing and wind. I couldn’t remember what it was. But it’s coming back to me now. #lamejoke

Saturday, May 11, 2024

Vegetables

Someone told me that it’s impossible to make a pun about vegetables. That’s not nececelery true. #lamejoke 

Friday, May 10, 2024

Movies

What the movies “The Sixth Sense” and “Titanic” have in common? Icy dead people. #lamejoke 

Thursday, May 9, 2024

Password

I just realized that "fortnight" is a lousy password. It's too weak. #lamejoke 

Wednesday, May 8, 2024

Dentist

My dentist pulled out the wrong tooth. He said it was accidental. #lamejoke 

Tuesday, May 7, 2024

Brides

If the surge in interest in mail-order brides shows anything, it's that you can't buy love. But, you can buy avowal. #lamejoke 

Saturday, May 4, 2024

Deodorant

So I bought a deodorant stick today. Instructions said: Remove cap and push up bottom. Now, I can hardly walk, but when I fart, the room smells lovely! #lamejoke

Friday, May 3, 2024

Mayo

Someone just threw some mayo at me. What the Hellman!?! #lamejoke

Thursday, May 2, 2024

Factory

My wife works in a factory that makes action figures of The Nanny. She got the job to make new Frans. #lamejoke

Wednesday, May 1, 2024

Wimbledon

Wimbledon will now offer “quiet” tennis for those with noise sensitivity. Same game but without the racket. #lamejoke