Accident

In a freak accident, the laboratory sink came to life, made its way to the mad scientist's door, and knocked. Let that sink in…. #lamejoke

Lottery

This week’s winning lottery numbers are 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9. I mean, seriously, what are the odds!?! #lamejoke

Canoe

I ate too many canoe paddles. Now I feel oarful. #lamejoke

Vegetables

Lately, I’ve grown increasingly apathetic towards eating vegetables. Some days, I just don’t carrot all. #lamejoke

Math

Having only one math tutoring office won’t work. You need to open multiple divisions. #lamejoke

Drain

I shouldn't have tried to put those wooden shoes down the drain. Now it's clogged. #lamejoke

DeLoreans

You ever notice how few DeLoreans you see on the road? I guess their owners only drive them from time to time. #lamejoke

Autopsy

Everyone was pretty excited about the last Autopsy Club meeting. It was open Mike night. #lamejoke

Eyes

If people didn't have eyes, they'd look funny. #lamejoke

Riot

I've heard that some riot police get up early to beat the crowds. #lamejoke

Velcro

Sadly the inventor of velcro has passed away. RIP. #lamejoke

Color

The color of the wind? Blew. #lamejoke

Octopuses

I once saw two octopuses that looked the exact same. Itentacle twins? #lamejoke

Grammar

Joey just told me he needs major surgery: he's having half his intestine removed. (Ooops, excuse my grammar. That should be a semi-colon.) #lamejoke

Horn

I don’t mean to toot my own horn, but sometimes I have trouble getting into the driver's seat. #lamejoke

Argentina

They say Argentina is cold, but it's more correct to say that it borders on Chile. #lamejoke

Japanese Folklore

According to ancient Japanese lore, the color of a person’s aura changes to cyan before they die. Cyan-aura. #lamejoke

Asparagus

I bought ten pieces of asparagus at the store but when I got home I realized I had eleven. It was just a spare, I guess. #lamejoke

Lego Store

The Lego store is finally reopening. People will be lined up for blocks. #lamejoke

Mount Rushmore

Before Mount Rushmore was carved, its natural beauty was unpresidented. #lamejoke