Skydivers chute first, ask questions later. They’re well grounded. #lamejoke

My car's horn wasn’t working, so I took it to a Boy Scout. He fixed it and said, “Beep repaired.” #lamejoke

There's an upcoming march for people that love the third month of the year. #lamejoke

Joey thought he failed his parallel parking test. Luckily, his driving instructor grades on the curb. #lamejoke

Selling Diet programs can be very profitable. They appeal to a wide audience. #lamejoke

A local Hawaii resident was heard to comment that some vacationers are here today, gone to Maui. #lamejoke

His wife left him saying that she was going home to mutter. #lamejoke

We all just want to belong. But some of us are short. #lamejoke

If you get in a kickboxing match with a lawnmower, you will be defeeted. #lamejoke

Some people say puns are just bad dad jokes. I don't think that could be father from the truth. #lamejoke

The guy was talking so much that he built the bike in the wrong order. He spoke too soon. #lamejoke

Joey got stabbed in the eye with a pickle. Now he's brined. #lamejoke

Catching Bigfoot is no small feat. #lamejoke

Just for the record, I need a new phonograph. #lamejoke

Joey once dated a girl who was a member of ISIS. She was the bomb. #lamejoke

If you ever go on a date and the person has the banner of the former Soviet Union hanging on their wall, that's a big red flag. #lamejoke

I think there are about one to two million baseball fields in the world, but that's just a ballpark number. #lamejoke

I was reading a paperback about Romania for eight hours straight. Finally I decided to give my Bucharest. #lamejoke

Once again the annual ninja parade passed through town unnoticed. #lamejoke

I used to work at Sears and knew a big time hippie back in 1969. The guy was a little strange, but he woodstock everything just right. #lamejoke

I just cross-bred a crocodile and a homing pigeon. I expect that'll come back to bite me. #lamejoke

If you see a jaguar in the wild, open its door, get in, and drive away. #lamejoke

Joey lost his cow milking job at the dairy farm because of his erratic behavior. He was a danger to himself and udders. #lamejoke

I thought I had perfected my cloning technique but something went terribly wrong. I just got ahead of myself. #lamejoke

All my friends have such long and complicated bucket lists. Mine is a little pail in comparison. #lamejoke

Think I might sell all my John Lennon memorabilia on eBay. Imagine all the PayPal.... #lamejoke

Why a man would want a wife is a mystery to some. Why he would want more than one is a bigamystery. #lamejoke

Impatience can be attributed to loss of wait. #lamejoke