My pursuit of perfect speech has become a diction. #lamejoke

The stutterer died in prison before he finished his sentence. #lamejoke

After cosmetic surgery, the pelican faced a huge bill. #lamejoke

I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I'll let you know. #lamejoke

The doctor has given Joey some anti-gloating cream. Now all he wants to do is rub it in. #lamejoke

There's no problem with you dressing up as a red vegetable for Halloween, as long as you beetroot to yourself. #lamejoke

Dieting fraud is high weigh robbery. #lamejoke

It’s very rare that a defibrillator fails. But when it does happen, no one is shocked. #lamejoke

To attract new visitors, the Museum of Natural History ran a promotion where they gave away actual dinosaur vertebrae from their collection. Everyone was taken aback. #lamejoke

When women get to a certain age, they start collecting lots of cats. This is known as many paws. #lamejoke

How did the hackers escape? They just ransomware. #lamejoke

I thought Friday was a sad day. Turns out tomorrow is a sadder day. #lamejoke

Glue sticks. Duh. #lamejoke

Seven doesn't have many friends because he's odd. #lamejoke

Joey used to date a girl who had cataracts. Things were going great until one day she stopped seeing him. #lamejoke

It occurs to me that a vampire might also be a necromancer. #lamejoke

I learned a lot about fairness from the Goddess of Pop and her body double - Cher and Cher-alike. #lamejoke

Oil paints are an excellent fuel. They make my van Gogh. #lamejoke

The small wooden wall was feeling a little board. #lamejoke

I made a bad joke about an axe. No one laughed. It wasn’t very cleaver. #lamejoke

I play soccer for kicks. #lamejoke

Driving to an event a bit quickly, Joey said that he's bred for speed. I told him to be careful or he'd be toast. #lamejoke

William Shakespeare was deciding what pencil to use - 2B or not 2B. #lamejoke

Never give a Gremlin a calculator after midnight. They will multiply. #lamejoke