Sports

The vegetable that can work as a sports announcer? A common tater. #lamejoke

Medical

The medical condition that causes wrinkled clothes? An iron deficiency. #lamejoke

Boat

"Go to the back of the boat!" Tim said, sternly. #lamejoke

Insect

I paid NASA five hundred dollars for a small industrious insect that just got back from a space mission. It was a little ex orbit ant. #lamejoke

April

“When I went to tear April off of my desk calendar. I accidentally tore off two months,” said Tim, dismayed. #lamejoke 

Handbags

Help Wanted: Sell handbags part time. It’s not a salaried position, but you do get a purse sent. #lamejoke 

Multiplying

Multiplying makes me numb, but multiplying by two makes me even number. #lamejoke

Birds

How many birds it takes to change a light bulb? One cannot, but Toucan. #lamejoke

Fish

How long it takes to reheat fish in the microwave? Tuna half minutes. #lamejoke

Eye

If you lost an eye and the only way to replace it was using part of a tree... would you do it? I would. #lamejoke

Shrinking

I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes, but then I found out that it was really the fridge. #lamejoke

Emails

I started getting a bunch of emails discussing the differences between the colors rose, crimson, and ruby. After a while, it got so annoying I right clicked on my inbox and selected, "Mark All As Read". #lamejoke 

Walk

Went for a walk today and I saw no people. I passed a slice of apple pie, a hot fudge sundae, and a piece of cheesecake. The streets were strangely deserted. #lamejoke

Bubble

They’re using bubble wrap as a therapy tool now. Seems like pop psychology to me. #lamejoke 

Dogs

Why dogs stop and sniff every lamppost and bush they pass on their walk? Checking their pmail maybe? #lamejoke