Hotline

"Thank you for calling the Incontinence Hotline. Can you hold?" #lamejoke

Earth

The earth rotated. Made my day. #lamejoke 

Safety

When you’re doing dangerous work it’s a good idea to do the Safety Twerk. Show a bun dance of caution. #lamejoke 

Police

Police are looking for a suspect who put wings on his two door two passenger car. Turns out he flew the coupe. #lamejoke 

Thought

I remember when I read Peter Pan to my kids and they asked if I wished I never grew up. I thought about it for a moment, then asked them to pull my finger. #lamejoke

Paint

You want to paint spades, diamonds, clubs, and hearts all over your chest? It's a strange choice, but suit yourself. #lamejoke 

Dictator

A dictator walks into a bar and orders everyone around. #lamejoke

Flamenco

To catch a flamenco dancer, just castanet. #lamejoke

Balloons

A man was arrested for stealing helium balloons. The police held him for a while, then let him go. #lamejoke 

Study

One of my friends wants to study burrowing animals. I say gopher it. #lamejoke

Sleeping

Rescue crews were shocked to discover a man sleeping on Mount Everest. They found Himalayan there. #lamejoke

Fingers

I woke up, and noticed that all the fingers on my left hand had been replaced with toes. The doctor took one look, and said, "Hmm, something’s afoot here." #lamejoke

Garden

Why garden people are so likeable? Because they're really nice once you get to gnome. #lamejoke

Avocado

An avocado's favorite arcade game? Guac-A-Mole! #lamejoke 

Ballet

The inventor of the ballet skirt was stumped for a name until he put tu and tu together. #lamejoke