The Amazingly Lame Joke of the Day

How do you get down off of an elephant? You don't get down off of an elephant, you get down off of a duck.

How do you think the unthinkable? With an itheberg.

What's green, fuzzy, and, if it fell out of a tree, it would kill you? A pool table.

What's the difference between zombies? Zombies make honey, and zombies don't.

The television game show was being recorded. The contestant was in the hot seat for the last big question. The host turned to him, and re...

William Penn, the founder and mayor of Philadelphia, had two aunts - Hattie and Sophia - who were skilled in the baking arts. One day, ...

A piece of road walks into a bar and declares to all its occupants: "I'm the hardest bit of bitumen in the whole of this town!...

Two men were out hunting in the woods. One of them was a fanatical huntsman: he went hunting as often as he could. The other was his frie...

A group of astronauts are on the moon. They've been mining the surface, and have discovered that it really is made of cheese. One pa...

How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?   One, but he needs to give it a good twist at the end.

Dr. Watson arrives at 221B Baker Street and is stunned to find his friend Sherlock Holmes out front in an overall, applying a pale yellow ...

A man walks into a piano store and says, "I would like to buy a hairy piano." Perplexed, the sales clerk asked, "Why do...

Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, "I bet you don't know what day this is." "Of course I do,...

On her 40th birthday a wife waltzed out of the bedroom dressed in an old outfit that she dug out of the back of the closet.  "I wo...

A three-year-old had been told several times to get ready for bed. The last time his mom told him, she was very insistent.  His respo...