Tuesday, April 30, 2024

Physics

I'd like to make some jokes about physics, but I’m not particularly good atom. #lamejoke

Monday, April 29, 2024

Hippo

A hippo with one leg? A hoppo. #lamejoke

Sunday, April 28, 2024

Crowbars

Did you know that before crowbars were invented, crows just had to stay at home to drink? #lamejoke

Saturday, April 27, 2024

Leather

 

Leather is rated based upon its texture. Cows with abundant water sources typically have softer hides rated "A". But hides from cows living in hot, dry climates are typically "D" Hide rated. #lamejoke

Friday, April 26, 2024

Icy

They say 'icy' is the easiest word to spell. I see why. #lamejoke 

Thursday, April 25, 2024

Cowboy

Died and came back as a cowboy. I call that reintarnation. #lamejoke

Wednesday, April 24, 2024

Puppets

Got a couple of sock puppets for sale. Anyone interested in taking them off my hands? #lamejoke 

Tuesday, April 23, 2024

Daughter

Joey’s daughter had a baby boy and named him Griffin. I suggested that she put a sign up on the entrance to his room. Griffin Door. She huffled and puffed. #lamejoke

Monday, April 22, 2024

Greeter

Joey was just hired as a Walmart people greeter. He’s on Howdy duty. #lamejoke

Sunday, April 21, 2024

Bees

I asked for 12 bees. The beekeeper gave me 13. When I asked him why, he said it was a freebie. #lamejoke

Saturday, April 20, 2024

Salads

My wife says the salads I make tend to be a bit on the "dry" side. It's definitely something that needs addressing. #lamejoke 

Friday, April 19, 2024

Guitar

Later today I will be giving you one of the important lessons in learning how to play guitar. Stay tuned…. #lamejoke

Thursday, April 18, 2024

Spam

I was on an online video call when a picture of a can of Spam appeared on my screen. I think it was a Zoom meat tin. #lamejoke

Wednesday, April 17, 2024

History

In history, AD means after the birth of Christ. B.C. means before Christ. Before B.C.? A. #lamejoke

Tuesday, April 16, 2024

Circumference

When measuring the circumference of a pie, using one pie is not enough. But 2πr. #lamejoke

Monday, April 15, 2024

Cheese

I always keep a slice of cheese in my back pocket… just in queso. #lamejoke 

Sunday, April 14, 2024

Nutritionists

Some guy just yelled at a small village of nutritionists. He went off on a diet tribe. #lamejoke

Saturday, April 13, 2024

Knights

I’m sick of long winded fables of brave knights. They tend to dragon. #lamejoke

Friday, April 12, 2024

Treadmill

Elton John got his pet rabbit a treadmill. It’s a little fit bunny. #lamejoke

Thursday, April 11, 2024

Chips

The kind of chips cannibals prefer? Free toes. #lamejoke

Wednesday, April 10, 2024

Lama

If a lama with one L is a holy man, and a llama with two Ls is an animal, what is a three L lama? A big fire in Boston. #lamejoke

Tuesday, April 9, 2024

Crabs

Americans think they’re cool, but crabs invented the sidewalk. #lamejoke

Monday, April 8, 2024

Treats

I only had Hostess treats with me when I had to force feed a young sheep to eat. Yep, I had to ram a lamb a Ding Dong. #lamejoke 

Sunday, April 7, 2024

Bigfoot

Bigfoot is sometimes confused with Sasquatch, Yeti never complains. #lamejoke 

Saturday, April 6, 2024

Frog

They did a blood test on a baby frog to extract its DNA and confirm its heritage. Discovered the frog was 70% British, 20% French, 7% Italian, 2% Dutch, and a tad Pole. #lamejoke

Friday, April 5, 2024

Food

The one food you’d never expect? Soup rice. #lamejoke

Wednesday, April 3, 2024

Knock

 Dad: Knock knock. 

Son: Who's there? 

Dad: Hike. 

Son: Hike who? 

Dad: Pirates don’t shower before they walk the plank. They just wash up on shore later. #lamejoke

Tuesday, April 2, 2024

Punchlines

Silly punchlines cheapun the joke. #lamejoke

Monday, April 1, 2024

Motown

I'm almost done telling Motown jokes. I have two or three left in me, four tops. #lamejoke