Saturday, January 30, 2021

Shoes

 I decided to stop tying my shoes. I thought, "Why knot?" #lamejoke

Thursday, January 28, 2021

Army

I wanted to know what the lowest rank in the army is, but no one would tell me. Apparently, it's private. #lamejoke

Wednesday, January 27, 2021

Proximity

Are you someone who has to be around people all the time? You're not alone. #lamejoke 

Tuesday, January 26, 2021

Medicine

I hear that there's a new medicine you can get that cures scepticism. I'm not buyin' it. #lamejoke

Monday, January 25, 2021

Bread

My wife asked me if she should learn any new bread recipes. I told her no need. #lamejoke

Sunday, January 24, 2021

Spiders

In Iran, everyone is very afraid of spiders, but Iraq, no phobia. #lamejoke

Saturday, January 23, 2021

Knitting

There's a guy going around stabbing people with knitting needles. The police say he may be following a pattern. #lamejoke

Friday, January 22, 2021

Broccoli

The difference between broccoli and boogers? Not every kid will eat broccoli. #lamejoke

Thursday, January 21, 2021

Hill

 The toilet paper rolled down the hill to get to the bottom. #lamejoke

Tuesday, January 19, 2021

Crayons

Nurses like red crayons because sometimes they have to draw blood. #lamejoke

Sunday, January 17, 2021

Name

The name Frodo really has a ring to it. #lamejoke

Saturday, January 16, 2021

Saturday

I hear that National Diarrhea Awareness Week runs thro' next Saturday…. #lamejoke

Friday, January 15, 2021

Band

They needed a fourth member for the fisherman rock and roll band, so Joey played the castanets. #lamejoke

Thursday, January 14, 2021

Frostbite

Joey's doctor was trying to describe the treatment plan for his frostbite. He couldn't picture it, so she showed him a faux toe. #lamejoke

Saturday, January 9, 2021

Vacation

Yesterday I put a world map on the wall in the kitchen, gave my wife a dart, and said, "Throw this and, wherever it lands, I'll take you there for a vacation." Turns out we're spending three weeks behind the fridge. #lamejoke

Friday, January 8, 2021

Painting

The competitive painting contest might have been a failure as it ended in a draw. #lamejoke

Tuesday, January 5, 2021

Neck

Last year wasn't much fun for Joey as he had a broken neck. But at least now he can look back and laugh. #lamejoke

Sunday, January 3, 2021

Money

I took some money off the wall. Now I hear my wife saying, "Where's wall dough?" #lamejoke

Saturday, January 2, 2021

Flashlight

 In the dark is where a flashlight really shines. #lamejoke

Friday, January 1, 2021

Newspaper

I ran out of toilet paper, so I had to use old newspapers. The Times are rough. #lamejoke