Thursday, January 31, 2019

My toy drone just got stuck in a tree. It's not the least favorite thing that happened to me today, but it is definitely up there. #lamejoke

Wednesday, January 30, 2019

Bought a new muzzle for my pet duck the other day. Nothing fancy, but it fits the bill. #lamejoke

Monday, January 28, 2019

Joey doesn't think "modern art" should really be classified as art. He says that a line needs to be drawn somewhere. #lamejoke

Sunday, January 27, 2019

Gum makes me sneeze. A chew. #lamejoke

Saturday, January 26, 2019

I have a fear of two letter words. Get scared just thinking about it. #lamejoke

Friday, January 25, 2019

Joey tried to go on a diet, but stopped after seven days. I guess it was a weak effort. #lamejoke

Thursday, January 24, 2019

When I think of backwards desserts, I get stressed. #lamejoke

Monday, January 21, 2019

An ancient Greek playwright was suffering writer’s block. He kept scribbling down lines and then tearing up the pages. Picking up the torn pages, his friend asked, “Why, Euripides?” #lamejoke

Sunday, January 20, 2019

Do not accept a friend request from Lizzie Borden. You will get hacked. #lamejoke

Saturday, January 19, 2019

Medieval trebuchets were capable of launching at ’em bombs. #lamejoke

Wednesday, January 16, 2019

Sisyphus was the first musical genius. He was a master of rock and roll. #lamejoke

Tuesday, January 15, 2019

Anyone can learn how to dance on the ceiling if they just stick to it. #lamejoke

Monday, January 14, 2019

I have a good joke about time travel, but you didn't like it. #lamejoke

Sunday, January 13, 2019

A slumlord prohibits his tenants from painting the doors of their apartments any color other than slate. He believes there’s nothing like the greyed out doors. #lamejoke

Saturday, January 12, 2019

You like money, and I like money. So we are a greed. #lamejoke

Thursday, January 10, 2019

At least the shaking father didn't have to place his car in the garage on his own - he had parking sons. #lamejoke

Wednesday, January 9, 2019

I mixed an orange flavored soda and a twig. It was fantastic! #lamejoke

Tuesday, January 8, 2019

My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas. #lamejoke

Monday, January 7, 2019

Can you imagine the alphabet without the letter B? It's easy if you make B leave. #lamejoke

Sunday, January 6, 2019

I want to be a pastry chef, because I feel that tart imitates life. #lamejoke

Saturday, January 5, 2019

Becoming a lumberjack is a question of wood, not could. #lamejoke

Friday, January 4, 2019

In my dreams, nobody shaves. I have a lot of imagine hairy friends. #lamejoke

Wednesday, January 2, 2019

Make a pun about the number 1? Ok, fine, but only if we half two. #lamejoke