Thursday, December 31, 2009

Why did the Great Woolly Mammoth cross the road?

Because they didn't have chickens in the Ice Age.


Wednesday, December 30, 2009

When are your eyes not eyes?

When the winter wind makes them water...


Tuesday, December 29, 2009

How do you tell the difference between a walrus and an orange?

Put your arms around it and squeeze it. If you don't get orange juice, it's a walrus.


Monday, December 28, 2009

What do you call fifty penquins in the Arctic?

Lost, really lost! (Penguins live in Antarctica.)


Sunday, December 27, 2009

How do you know that there's a snowman in your bed?

You wake up wet.


Saturday, December 26, 2009

What do you call a snowman in the summer?

A puddle.


Friday, December 25, 2009

What kind of christmas candle burns longer, a red candle or a green candle?

Neither, candles always burn shorter!


Thursday, December 24, 2009

What's red and white and falls down the chimney?

Santa Klutz.



Wednesday, December 23, 2009

What did Adam say to Eve on December 24th?

"Haven't you ever heard of Christmas, Eve?"


Tuesday, December 22, 2009

What did Santa say to Mrs. Claus when he looked out the window?

"Looks like rain, dear..."


Monday, December 21, 2009

What does Mrs. Claus sing to Santa on his birthday?

Freeze a jolly good fellow!


Sunday, December 20, 2009

Why does Santa always go down the chimney?

Because it soots him.


Saturday, December 19, 2009

What happens to you at Christmas?

Yule be happy!


Friday, December 18, 2009

What did the school bus driver say to the very, very large bullfrog?

"Hop on!"


Thursday, December 17, 2009

Why do the little birdies fly south for the winter?

It's too far to walk.


Wednesday, December 16, 2009

What do you call an Eskimo cow?

An Eskimooo!

(this is so lame)


Tuesday, December 15, 2009

What did Santa get as he slid down the tight chimney?

Claus-trophobic.


Sunday, December 13, 2009

"I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me."