Frog

Then there was the one about the frog who got a DNA test. He found out he was part British, part Irish, and a tad Polish. #lamejoke 

Helium

In spite of the fact that airport police say that the number of people smuggling helium balloons in their luggage is under control, cases continue to rise. #lamejoke

Kosher

I hope you’ll be honest with me about how kosher hot dogs are made. Please beef frank. #lamejoke 

Performer

If you ever want to be successful as a stage performer, you need to act now. #lamejoke

Addiction

I’m doing my best to overcome my hiking addiction, but I’m not out of the woods yet. #lamejoke 

Ocean

Joey threw his son into the ocean and he floated. I’d call that boy in sea. #lamejoke 

Water

If H2O is the formula for water, is the formula for ice H2O cubed? #lamejoke 

Squares

When chocolate squares and mallow fluff melt on a graham cracker as crust... that's a s'more, eh? #lamejoke 

Job

Need a job? Consider applying to the search and rescue agencies. They’re always looking for people. #lamejoke

Pasta

I spent my entire life savings on pasta. It was worth every penne. #lamejoke

Invisible

Joey accidentally swallowed some invisible ink. He’s now in the ER, waiting to be seen. #lamejoke

Alcohol

If alcohol ruins short-term memory, imagine what alcohol can do. #lamejoke

Ants

If ants don't have religious beliefs, then why are they in sects? #lamejoke

Date

We had a date last night. It was perfect. We’ll try a grape tonight. #lamejoke

Giraffe

Why the giraffe with the short neck was sad? He just wanted to belong. #lamejoke

Superman

One difference between me and Superman is that he has super vision, while I… require supervision. #lamejoke

Guacamole

My wife insists upon mashing the guacamole with her feet. She has avacatoes. #lamejoke

Wheelchair

Joey’s girlfriend broke up with him, so he stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back…. #lamejoke

Yes

Why I always say yes? I don’t know. #lamejoke

Rodent

Be wary of eating rodent-based meals in China. You could end up with a mousey tongue. #lamejoke

Battery

I met a girl who runs a battery kiosk at the park. She sells c-cells by the seesaw.  #lamejoke

Pasta

Just got fired from the pasta factory. All because I made a fusilli mistakes. #lamejoke

Bananas

Where bananas go to learn how to be banana splits? Sunday school. # lamejoke

Mustard

The lid came off my mustard in the picnic basket. Now there is Poupon everything. #lamejoke

Breakfast

A cannibal's favorite breakfast? French toes. #lamejoke

Fragrance

Joey released his own fragrance today. Nobody in the elevator seemed to like it though... #lamejoke 

Suction

Heard they made the world's strongest suction cup. Not sure how they pulled that off. #lamejoke

Weather

Today we can expect rane, thundur, and litenin. Just a bad spell of weather. #lamejoke

Grizzly

Nine out of ten zoo dentists refuse to work on a grizzly unless it has been given a strong anesthetic. There's safety in numb bears. #lamejoke