Sausage

I found this great place online to order sausage online. I’ll send you a link. #lamejoke

Castanets

Way back when, I met my future wife at a castanets lessons club. We just clicked. #lamejoke

Woodshop

Joey lost out on a job in a woodshop. He misunderstood when they asked for a stool sample. #lamejoke 

Washing

“I love washing clothes when the crowd stands,” Tim cheered from the bleachers. #lamejoke 

Meditation

Been thinking about taking up meditation. I figure it's better than sitting around doing nothing. #lamejoke

Gunpowder

You should invest in wooden sticks and gunpowder at the same time. They are a great match. #lamejoke 

Dance

“The next dance move requires moving your tush in this pattern,” Tim assessed. #lamejoke

Sandpaper

My buddy asked me if he had to use a lower grit sandpaper for his project. I said, “Of coarse.” #lamejoke

Romantic

Joey’s girlfriend always said that he wasn’t a romantic. So he surprised her and proposed to her in a castle. You would think she would have been happy, but for the look on her face as they were bouncing around. #lamejoke 

Saturday

“Saturday is finally here,” Tim said, weakened. #lamejoke 

Toes

I saw a man who made his toes incredibly large. Impressive feat. #lamejoke 

Insect

A friend told me he chased an insect out of his house. I can't tell whether it's true or just make believe. #lamejoke

Pie

Where would you go to weigh a pie? 🎶"Somewhere over the rainbow..." 🎵#lamejoke

Trout

 What you call a trout wearing a bow tie? Sofishticated. #lamejoke

Cancun

I sat on the beach in Cancun for so long, I got a Yucatan. #lamejoke

Bagel

The “everything” bagel is currently no. 1, but someday, it will be superseded. #lamejoke 

SpongeBob

Did you know that SpongeBob is American? Yeah, he lives in a pineapple under D.C. #lamejoke

Sign

I saw a sign that said ‘Watch For Children’ and I thought, “That sounds like a fair trade.” #lamejoke

Cheese

We’re teaching the grand kids to cook. Today we covered the most important lesson: When the cheese turns red, stop grating. #lamejoke

Birds

I was going to post the joke about the tropical birds I glued together. Decided not to. It’s toucan fusing. #lamejoke 

Fire

BREAKING NEWS!!! Count Chocula, the StayPuft Marshmallow Man, and the Teddy Grahams Bear have all perished in a fire. S'More at 11. #lamejoke 

Duck

Then there was the one about the legislator who ate an entire duck, bones, feathers and all, as a publicity stunt to get his new law approved. He had trouble passing the bill. #lamejoke 

Book

I'm currently reading a book about a couple of insects who fall in love in an Italian city. It’s a Rome ants novel. #lamejoke 

Work

Almost no one in the USA goes to work on the Fourth of July. Except fire. Fire works on July 4th! #lamejoke

Monkey

A monkey playing with fireworks? A baboom. #lamejoke

Jell-O

Jell-O spread on a cracker? Pudding on the Ritz. #lamejoke