Creatures

You may have noticed that almost all small garden humanoid creatures have red hats. It’s a little gnome fact. #lamejoke 

Celebrity

The celebrity always ready for cereal? Reese, with her spoon. #lamejoke 

Cloning

My friend said that he doesn't understand cloning. That makes two of us. #lamejoke 

Gym

I don't mind leg day at the gym. It's just the two days after that I can't stand. #lamejoke

Eyes

What would happen if you put eyes on a tire? Wheel see…. #lamejoke

Sheet

Scientists have discovered what is believed to be the world’s largest bed sheet. More on this story as it unfolds. #lamejoke

People

The fact that some people can’t distinguish between etymology and entomology bugs me in ways I can’t put into words. #lamejoke

Poet

The bankrupt poet ode everyone. #lamejoke

Telemarketers

The number of telemarketers it takes to change a light bulb? Only one, but he has to do it while you are eating dinner. #lamejoke

Fungi

You have to be very precise when identifying fungi. There’s not mushroom for error. #lamejoke

Elephant

The difference between a place where you go for drinks and an elephant passing gas? One is a bar room. The other is a BA ROOOM!!! #lamejoke

Murderer

A murderer joined our pottery class. He went on a kiln spree. #lamejoke

Competiton

I was in a tracing competition once. It ended in a draw. #lamejoke

Lazy

Joey didn’t like it when his wife told him that he was lazy. It’s not like he did anything. #lamejoke

Book

Writing a book about Big Foot will be no small feat. #lamejoke

Job

Joey just started his new job as an executioner. He’ll be heading there soon. #lamejoke

Motown

I only have two, maybe three good Motown puns in me – four tops. #lamejoke

Action

My new action figure keeps falling over when I put it up on the shelf. It’s so irritating, I can’t stand it. #lamejoke

Asses

There’s a new study about women and how they feel about their asses. The results were pretty interesting. 30% of women think their ass is too fat, 10% of women think their ass is too skinny. The remaining 60% say they don't care, they love him, he is a good man, and they wouldn't trade him for the world! #lamejoke

Carpet

When I told the contractor that I didn't want any carpet on the steps up to the attic, he gave me a blank stair. #lamejoke

Backpack

An Iraqi father wearing a backpack? Bag dad. #lamejoke

Exam

Joey recently took his naval exams. He got seven Cs. #lamejoke

Halloween

There's only one thing I really like about Halloween. Which is….     #lamejoke

Studying

I love studying the stone age. It’s one of my favorite pastimes. #lamejoke

Water

 Listen carefully when you squeeze water from a towel. It has a nice wring to it. #lamejoke

Weekend

Apparently this weekend there will be constant rane, hale, gails, drissle, thundre, litnin, hy tydes, tawnaydoes and frizzing colde – just a really bad spell of weather. #lamejoke 

Coal

Joey owned a coal company, but kept it to himself. Mined his own business. #lamejoke

Rigid

My tape measure isn't rigid enough. It just doesn’t measure up. #lamejoke