Remote

I'm very disappointed to find out that the universal remote control I bought does not control the universe. Not even remotely. #lamejoke 

Manufacturing

I've been fired from my job for putting in too many shifts. Keyboard manufacturing isn't as easy as you might think. #lamejoke

Thanksgiving

There's a new movie coming out soon. It's the thrilling tale of a man who ate biographical books instead of turkey on Thanksgiving. (Baste on a true story) #lamejoke 

Omelet

I hear that the omelet museum is not all it's cracked up to be. #lamejoke

Laundry

Last night, my wife and I argued about whose turn it was to do the laundry. It went on for hours, but eventually I folded. I guess I threw in the towel. #lamejoke 

Boat

"Get into the back of the boat," Tim said sternly. #lamejoke

Dictionary

Swapped a ewer for a dictionary. As you know, a pitcher is worth a thousand words. #lamejoke

Noodles

 Cannibals never cook spaghetti noodles because they prefer raw men. #lamejoke

Cabinet

The CEO of IKEA was elected prime minister of Sweden yesterday . Today, he started to assemble his cabinet. #lamejoke

Elevator

Joey met a rich girl who was trapped in an elevator on the 100th floor. She was kinda stuck up. #lamejoke

Deer

Full grown deer might not taste the best covered in melted cheese, but their fawn do. #lamejoke

Bach

The reason I stopped humming Bach everyday? People were telling me I sounded like a baroquen record. #lamejoke

Donkey

The donkey opened the godfather's door. #lamejoke